Introducing Ed McMahon, The Russian Vodka

There he is on the bottle, arms folded, looking for all the world like a Star Search logo. He seems to be saying, "Go ahead and get drunk on something better. I dare ya." Indeed, the image of Ed McMahon is emblazoned on a Russian vodka container. We obviously aren't talking about just any ordinary Russkie firewater but McMahon Perfect Russian Vodka. It's the only vodka to be personally endorsed by -- and bear the likeness of -- the Man Who Launched a Thousand Laughs sitting next to Johnny Carson for all of those years on "The Tonight Show," the only spirit with a Publisher's Clearinghouse kick. Now, you can get hammered with Ed without even being near him!

On the mcmahonvodka.com website, the message is clear: "Some things in life you can't control. The vodka you drink isn't one of those things." Not the clearest English, maybe, but you get the picture. McMahon Perfect is distilled "using a special four-time filtration process that allows for strict quality control" culled from "over 200 years of experience" (and you thought Ed wasn't even 100 yet). Best of all, once the cap is removed the bottle roars heartily at everything you say.

Alas, it's only available from a few distributors at present (one of them in nearby Cerritos). Not that Ed asked, but we have a few suggestions for McMahon Perfect slogans:

• --"Johnny would drink it if he could."
• --"You may already have had too much to drink!"
• --"Remember, never drink and laugh."
• --"Too expensive? Why, you are correct sir!"
• --"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Vodky!"

Comments

[Dan Taylor]

This is great news... now I have something to sit on the bar next to my copy of ED McMAHON'S BARSIDE COMPANION!