I Stalk Celebrities So You Don't Have To!

This day already is feeling a little bit weird, and it's only 9:41 a.m. It's one of those days where anything's possible. Martians could land in my living room and it would seem perfectly in keeping with the tenor of things (but then, maybe that's because of the alien autopsy they performed on my dining room table Monday night). Already this morning, I received an e-mail targeted to me that read, "Prepare for a career in the trucking industry!". It sounded far more like a threat than an opportunity, quite frankly, and so now I'm thinking it's inevitable that a 16-wheeler will at any moment pull up to my home and a scraggly, beefy giant of a man will emerge from the driver's seat and scream in my direction, "C'mon! I haven't got all day! Get in!!!!!!").

But of course, my real first choice in career -- other than my present one, naturally -- would be as a gossip blogger. I'm really just a frustrated Perez Hilton, the only Hilton I know who isn't an heir to a hotel fortune of some sort and who hasn't yet centered some unfortunate sex tape scandal. At the very least, I figure maybe I could be some pathetic flunkie for Gawker, and how much higher can one aspire than that, you know?

I say this because just this morning, at the Peet's Coffee emporium on Ventura Boulevard in Studio City, I enjoyed my very own, 100% confirmed celebrity sighting. Really and truly, honest engine.

There was Annette Bening, sitting there cool as you please in sunglasses at a table right in front of Peet's -- so much cooler than Starbucks or The Coffee Bean -- sipping some caffeinated concoction or another (probably something fru-fru with mocha and steamed 2% and a dollop of low-fat dairy substitute whipped topping). And who should be there right beside Annette? Why, none other than -- oh my God! -- the great Warren Beatty! Spying the two of them there, low-key and undemonstrative and acting as if this was little more than a typical morning routine, you'd have sworn they were a longtime item.

Talk about a scoop! I mean, these two are married people, if I'm not mistaken. Did they have no shame, flaunting their coupledom like it was just another lazy weekday in paradise? Where was my digital camera? A shot of these two hanging together could have scored me 20 grand easy and the cover of the Globe: "Married Stars With 'B' Surnames Have Coffee Together On Tuesday Morning Right Out In the Open!". Maybe they'd even use the "N"-word or talk trash about the Jews or something! Oh man, you talk about your golden opportunities falling straight out of the sky. Thank you, Lord.

Then I remembered...um...oh yeah.

And I got into my car and I drove away, leaving my stillborn gossip career in the dust.

Let us never speak of it again.

Comments

[Theodora]

LOL...

You were on your best behaviour, Raymundo...

Had it been me...

I would've asked her *why* she was soooo unfunny on SNL...

Or tried to peer into Warren's mouth to see if he was sporting dentures... The most recent award show appearances he made, he seemed to be whistling thru his choppers --and was a bit jaw-clenched, as if the gumglue he bought from Flo' Henderson had failed at the last minute...

Certainly NOT the image one would want to linger of a former sex-gawd...

I almost was one of his conquests... I pride myself on having the distinction of being the only girl in Hollywood to escape his advances... A story that will not be told for free...

;-)

[The Big Sis]

Celebrity sightings in Hollywood! I'm SO jealous, Ray. Although, to this day, I fondly remember the time when I was about 17 and working at a certain sex shop on Hollywood Blvd, and in walked Faye Dunaway, of all people! I was totally enthralled. Especially since she had just done Bonnie and Clyde (just to nicely tie it all back up to Warren Beatty). The problem was... she looked like hell. No make-up, frumpy clothes, hung-over. It shattered my illusions of Hollywood glamour, that's for sure. But it was obviously a memorable moment.

[sexy celebrities]

Having grown up in Hollywood I've seen more celebrities then I can remember. Some looked great, almost like their screen look, others just look like regular people and are almost unrecognizable. Some, as we've seen on this site can have bad days too. ;)