We're All Paying Dearly For This Trip to Paris

I'm trying to recall a media event that received greater hype and less return than Paris Hilton's "interview" Wednesday night on CNN's "Larry King Live," and my memory is failing me. Then again, it could be because none ever has. The combination of Hilton's vapidity and King's seeming inability to ask a question of genuine substance resulted in an exercise of diverting absurdity, the television news equivalent of a cuddle party. "I feel like this is a lesson in disguise," Paris told King of her incarceration. Lesson? What lesson? That if you go to jail, your personality profile will skyrocket into the stratosphere? Yeah, that'll teach her to fight the law!

This woman isn't living in reality but some surrealistic netherworld where 23 days in custody qualifies you for the Medal of Honor. Doing three weeks behind bars doesn't make you more noble or supply some magical insight for one's psyche. But for a gullible tabloid-raised audience, it is perhaps commensurate to epiphany. Hilton reiterated to King that she was going to now somehow dedicate her life to things deeper than partying, which in the language of the privileged and pampered might be translated as, "I'll pay people to vouch for my newfound philanthropy!"

If there is anything more insufferable than Paris Hilton: The Shallow Princess, it's Paris Hilton: The Disingenuous Do-Gooder. She tells Larry that she logged all of these hours in jail reading the Bible, and when the host finds it in him to ask an actual question -- "What's your favorite Bible passage?" -- Paris has no answer. Why? Hmmmmm...Let's see...Wild guess: she wasn't really doing much Bible reading, or any other kind for that matter. The lady and her publicist/apologist Elliot Mintz are simply making it up as they go along, in the process mocking the genuine moral and spiritual awakening of many who do real time.

Anyway, some will perhaps think me overly cynical for buying not a single shred of this "I've changed" thing from Ms. Paris. I think she's totally full of it (not to mention full of herself) and is far too self-absorbed to seriously consider the plight of the less fortunate. Even if she does push to raise money for breast cancer and MS research and kids in need, it will simply be to buff out the rough edges in her image and mine still more fuel for her voracious ego. Her life as photo op should continue forth unabated, with guys like Larry King falling all over themselves to accommodate Hilton's free-flowing agenda.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, "You go girl!"

Comments

[40Deuce]

way to state the obvious.
hey world: "NEXT!!!!!"

[Akira]

What a cliché!!!!
Read the bible... Come on Paris, let's try again!

Life begins to look like a big Hollywood movie full of clichés.

Please, the proff is Paris ans all around.
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[The Big Sis]

Ray, the real tragedy here is the fact that Michael Moore was originally scheduled for that full hour with Larry King to talk about his new movie, "Sicko" but he was bumped in favor of Paris Hilton! How sick is THAT??

[bored2tears]

Ray, I love ya but you take the Valtrex poster slut far too seriously.

Take some advice from Lisa Simpson and Paul Anka: "Just don't look."

Without our attention, she-who-shall-remain-nameless will surely shrivel and die.

[cadavra]

Paris isn't the problem; it's the media who cover her relentlessly and obsessively. If the cameras and microphones suddenly disappeared, so would she.

[PressWhore]

Alright, got to clarify one thing. David Sitrick is responsible for the publicity now. The master himself. I handled Paris a few times over the years. She had just dropped out of school when I had my first encounter, and then it was "the Hilton Sisters". She's about half as smart as one might think. I don't think she could muster through a passage in the bible. Maybe one of those illustrated versions for children. On a semi-related note, i haven't received a thank me for the care package I had sent from http://mycarepack.com

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