Paris Can't Bear To Be Blue in the Big House

Well, that was a quick debt to society, wasn't it? And I mean, who knew it was this easy to serve only, like, 10% of an original jail sentence just because you found it all yeechy and gross inside there? So much for everybody being equal under the law. Some, evidently, are less equal than others. Exhibit A: Paris Hilton, who was hustled out of the L.A. County Jail's Lynwood lockup in the middle of the night/early this morning with an "unspecified medical condition."

Here, I'll take the mystery out of this and specify it for everybody: Hilton's condition is commonly known as I'm Too Rich And Famous To Be In Here Syndrome. I have no doubt she was freaking out being in jail. In fact, a friend of a friend assures me she was crying all day and night and full-on inconsolable, on suicide watch, the whole nine yards. Sheriff Lee Baca clearly feared a PR crapstorm should something have happened to Paris while in county custody, and he blinked. That makes her release less medical and psychological than political. Big shockeroo, that.

No doubt, Baca also figured Hilton had been in there for parts of five days and so the point was made. She had to serve time, at least a little bit. It would seem entirely appropriate that someone of Hilton's iffy intellect would be credited merely with a sentence fragment, as it were. And now she'll get to hang at her estate with an ankle bracelet, which isn't quite the penalty the sentencing judge probably had in mind as far as teaching a lesson.

Anyone who honestly believes the system doesn't play favorites is deluding themselves. Not that Paris' crime necessarily merited jail time in the first place. But that too was a function of her celebrity, an opportunity for L.A. County law enforcement to show off its "We don't care who you are!" muscle -- which in the end turned out to be as short-lived as it was gratutious.

Comments

[cadavra]

Actually, it WAS a medical condition: she was making all the other inmates sick.

[Devon Ellington]

It's truly disgusting and shows just how messed up the judicial system is. And yes, she should have been put in jail in the first place -- she violated probation because she's too irresponsible to hire a driver when she's been drinking and to read her own paperwork once she'd been caught the first time.