Britney Spears: The Slo-Mo Tabloid Execution Continues

I'm not sure I have ever witnessed a more surrealistic spectacle than Britney Spears' ongoing tabloid-retrofited self-destruction -- replete with ghastly photos, weekly emergency room visits, reputed crystal meth binges, flings with paparazzi and an undercurrent of voyeuristic glee.

Does this woman have no one to protect her from herself? No one to keep her away from drugs and drink? No one who isn't out to take advantage of her by virtue of his or her proximity to the twisted glare? This sensationalist implosion scenario isn't just getting old but monumentally cruel and unfathomable. It isn't about the media needing to leave her alone. We know that'll never happen as long as she's breathing. Any possibility of backing off in the interest of saving her hide is pretty much nonexistent. But I can't even read the updates anymore. It's just too infuriating, too painful.

Here would be my advice in forging an opportunity to whisk Spears away from the eye of this perpetual hurricane:

Smuggle her out of the country in the dead of night to a remote, unnamed destination. Leave no trail. Maybe recruit someone like celeb security guru Gavin de Becker to oversee the escape/disappearance. Hole Spears up in a fortress with no access to the outside world, something that's domed and confining and without communication in or out. Tell no one, not even Kevin Federline or her kids, parents and siblings -- and especially not Dr. Phil. Hire three or four trusted confidantes (if such a thing exists; if not, enlist righteous individuals sworn to silence) who will take turns being with her 'round-the-clock, helping attend to Britney's basic needs (food, etc.). Keep her away from any and all contact with other people, no matter how benign or well-meaning. Work relentlessly on sobriety, building up her physical strength, clearing her head, recovering from the chaos and frenzy. Have her remain there for a minimum of a year.

It would be exactly like the Federal Witness Protection Program, except in this case it might be called the Britney Emergency Recovery Initiative. Anything short of this would appear utterly fruitless and ill-fated. Forget telling the press to cut her slack. Forget conventional rehab. Forget parental babysitting. That's over. Dropping from sight for a good long while -- with or without Spears' consent -- is the only real answer.

Comments

[OldOldLady Of The Hills]

Oh Ray...

I SO AGREE!

This poor dear girl needs "TIME AWAY".

Dr. Phil. OY VEY IZ MEER, to the MAX! Such a phony baloney creep.....Deliver ME and Brittany, from the likes of this arrogant self-promiting Snake Oil Salesman.... And all those who pretend, as HE does, that he gives a flying crap about ANYTHING, except his ratings!

It is the End Of The World, as we knew it....In point-of-fact, it is the TRUE effing end of the world, period.

The Decline And Fall of The Roman Empire? No. The Fall of The Effing World, is happening before our very eyes, as I write this!

[Sadie]

No....I strongly suspect that 1 day after the one year in exile ended, we would find Brit driving to Ralph's market and gas stations in the middle of the night to get cigs and Starbucks. Oh, and Sam will be next to her.