The Front Page: January 14, 2008

By Randee Dawn

Who knew they could travel? The "I Am Legend" vampire/zombie/infected/monster type things, that is. Because as last night's Golden Globe presentations made clear, they've certainly made it to LA, and apparently beelined to the press conference. Because there was nary a spot of life blood in that room. Meanwhile, over at NBC things were just very ... yellow. And plasticky-perky. I never looked so forward to the return of the "American Idol" sniping as I did last night. Okay, best of a bad situation, lie back and think of England and all that rot.

Still. Did it have to come to this?

Borys Kit and Leslie Simmons have the critique, calling it "more fizzle than sizzle" and the presenters "hapless yet determinedly plucky." Yes, because if TV has taught us anything, no matter how dull, boring or useless things may be, a happy face enlivens us all. This is what botox is really for. But if you ever needed a really pathetic moment, Kit and Simmons have it: "Inside the hotel and before the show, the press turned to one another in quiet desperation since there were no stars to interview."

Hey! Looks like the zombies got to the journalists first.

Elsewhere, Ray Richmond took his own shots: "Essentially (it) was faux journalists joyously speed-reading nominees and winners for a faux show. No questions, please." That said, he adds, "the presentation had to set a land speed record for fastest event in showbiz history: 25 categories in 30 minutes, and not a second over the allotted time." Kind of puts those three-plus hour events into perspective, eh?

Anyway, for those not paying attention, it's Strike Day 71, and the axe is truly on a downward arc now: As Nellie Andreeva reports, ABC Studios released its producers from their deals, being the first to do so: That means there are a lot of projects that should have seen the light of day — and now may only ever see the light of a computer screen, if they're lucky. But you have to appreciate the amusement value in a writers strike as being seen as force majeure -- literally "greater force," but generally interpreted (according to the article) as an "act of God."

So whose side is the Almighty on, anyway?

And does that mean these shows can be resurrected?