Casting call for the McCain/Palin motion picture

So I was just sitting around here and couldn't help but notice how this whole soap opera known as the Republican National Convention -- which concludes tonight with the Presidential nomination of you-know-who -- fairly cries out for a movie. Not a feature, mind you. It's a bit too declasse' for that. I'm thinking more of a made-for-TV flick. On Lifetime. Called "Maverick & Huntress: The John McCain and Sarah Palin Story."

It's the story of a hot babe who dons a pair of sleek specs to play down her Fox News-worthy sexiness quotient and is immediately elected governor of Alaska, where her refusal to terminate any of her multiple pregnancies and devil-may-care attitude toward all living beings that aren't human brings her to the attention of POW-turned-Presidential candidate John McCain. Together, they win over evangelicals with their pro-human life/anti-animal life platform and become the toast of Conservative America.

Here is how I see the thing being cast:

• Dustin Hoffman is Sen. John McCain: Not the most conventional choice, I know, but kind of perfect when you think about it. Also considered were Sean Connery, Paul Newman and Brian Dennehy, but for various reasons none is as well-suited physically and in terms of temperament as Hoffman. A no-brainer, in fact. (UPDATE: My friend Lenni just suggested Ed Harris instead of Hoffman for McCain -- and she's right! Much better. Perfect physical match. So ignore what I said earlier about Hoffman and let's go with that.)
• Megan Mullally is Gov. Sarah Palin: One immediately thinks of Tina Fey for Palin, but that's just because of the glasses and the way she wears them. Mullally is really a better physical resemblance and has the kind of edge and sass to pull it off best. Fey is a bit too flippant and intellectual.
• Aaron Eckhart is Todd Palin: I'm thinking the Eckhart who starred with such sleazy perfection in "Thank You For Smoking." Everything about him kinda screams, "I'm Sarah Palin's long-suffering husband!".
• Jamie Lynn Spears is Bristol Palin: Well shoot, how much more perfect could casting be? We're talking pregnancy twins. I'll bet they walk alike and talk alike, too.
• Shia LaBeouf is Levi Johnston: While it's obviously true that LaBeouf lacks the athletic hunk factor of the hockey-playing Johnston, and lacks the GQ looks of the daddy-to-be of Bristol Palin's unborn, he's the only dude of much renown who is similarly youthful. So let's say this one is subject to change. Maybe. Eventually.
• Will Smith is Sen. Barack Obama: A big fat "Duh!". I mean, who else? Denzel Washington? Forrest Whitaker? Blair Underwood? Eddie Murphy? No, no, no and NO! It's really Smith or no one. So let's go with Smith.
• Robert Redford is Sen. Joe Biden: Absolutely perfect casting, if I do say. Redford can be made to resemble the Democratic VP contender and longtime senator from Delaware, and he embodies the ideal style to boot. Plus, Redford already starred with distinction in the classic 1972 political farce "The Candidate." Done deal.
• Felicity Huffman is Cindy McCain: The first thought here was of Amy Poehler, because she's a pretty good physical match if she puts a can of spray into her hair and has a few yards of gauze implanted surgically below her first layer of skin. But Huffman has it all: a reasonably similar look along with the acting chops to pull it off brilliantly.
• Regina King is Michelle Obama: Check out photos of King, who once starred in the NBC sitcom "227" as a kid. The physical resemblance is pretty solid.
• James Woods is Rudy Giuliani: This is a bit of a cheat, since Woods already portrayed Giuliani in a USA Network biopic in 2003. But he's still perfect for this job in every way. So bring it on.

P.S.: Any under-the-table casting director fees here would be greatly appreciated. (Only kidding! No, really!)

Comments

[Joe Bua]

Max Wright from Alf as Joe Lieberman.

Jim Nabors as Lindsey Graham.

Richard Jenkins as Phil Gramm.

Craig T. Nelson as Mitt Romney.

Any others?