Oh Andy, You Nut, We Just Can't Take You Anyplace

It isn't easy for Andy Dick to come up with fresh new ways to offend, but somehow he keeps managing. He did it again -- albeit in a seemingly leg-pulling way -- over the weekend at The Improv in Hollywood when he was moved to shout at the audience, "You're all a bunch of niggers!". It was supposed to be ironic or something, given the neverending Michael Richards brouhaha. But apparently this incident was met with less than the intended good humor, inspiring Dick to issue an apology this week through his publicist:

"I chose to make a joke about a subject that is not funny. In an attempt to make light of a serious subject, I have offended a lot of people, and I am sorry for my insensitivity."

Here's an idea I just came up with: to guard against all of his future verbal transgressions, I recommend that Dick's put-upon publicist (imagine having that job) issue the following all-encompassing generic mea culpa on behalf of his or her client in anticipating all of the unfortunate offensive remarks going forward:

"I wish to apologize for anything and everything I've ever said, am saying or will say to anyone who may be, will be or has ever been offended. My mouth has its own agenda separate and apart from me and I hope you all will take that into account when assessing any potential hurt or insensitivity stemming from what I have just said/will say. To that end, I also wish to apologize for simply continuing to exist, and please understand that I harbor great remorse with each succeeding breath that I draw."