Past Deadline

If Mel Gibson Had Made the Movie He Really Wanted To

This has probably been careening around cyberspace for a while, but I just saw this parody of the "Mel Gibson's Apocalypto" trailer fashioned by the good folks at "Saturday Night Live." Pretty funny stuff. It shows what good comedy writers can do armed only with an idea and a couple of well-placed subtitles. It turns a serious minute-long preview into an inspired sendup of Gibson's notorious drunken rant.

Yes, anti-Semitism can be a stitch. Who knew?

Actually, here's who: the video link was forwarded to me by none other than Andrew Goldberg, writer-producer-director of the exceptional doc "Anti-Semitism in the 21st Century: The Resurgence" that airs on PBS next Monday evening. Not that I would ever accuse Goldberg of anti-Gibsonism.

Chocopocalypse Now

There are many people who went to see Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto" over the weekend. Enough to earn the film over $14 million and make it the No. 1 picture in the nation.

I was not one of them.

I would, however, be convinced to see the trailer, "Hot Chocolypto," which was inspired by the "Apocalypto" trailer. I would, in fact, watch a whole movie called "Hot Chocolypto." I would insist, however, that the soundtrack include the song, "You Sexy Thing."

And I would also insist on watching it with befogged glasses.

As Rob at Attifood notes:

When I saw the teaser trailer to Mel Gibson's Apocalypto, I was captivated by the imagery and sound. I knew two -- no, three things -- I wanted to see the movie, I wanted to make a cooking show in the style of that trailer, and I knew right away the perfect recipe to go with it -- Hot Chocolate.

Never let it be said that Past Deadline is not a full-service blog.

(Link via Boing Boing)

-- Randee Dawn

Oh Me! Oh Mayan! A Funny Thing Happened To Mel Gibson On the Way To Hell

It took only a little bit more than four months for Mel Gibson's reputation to be fully restored in the wake of his drunken Malibu highway meltdown back at the end of July -- and I'm not gonna say I told you so, but, OK, yes I will. With "Apocalypto's" ruling of the box office over the weekend, the notion of any lingering after-affects from Mel's "The Jews are responsible for all of the wars!" rant can now officially be put to rest. True, the film took in only $14.2 million, which ain't exactly a blockbuster performance for a weekend chart-topper, but it was more than enough to dispell any theory that the man may be damaged goods.

I actually predicted that he'd easily weather this storm two days after his big blow-up. And in fact, I maintained that Gibson already had more or less been forgiven literally hours after the fact. In a country where only about 3% of the populace is Jewish, any perceived anti-Semitism is simply not a career killer. Neither are alcoholism or sexism. Shouting "Nigger!" repeatedly is a tougher one to live down, as Michael Richards already is discovering. But whatever penance Gibson had to pay evidently did the trick. And he certainly got off easy enough. He didn't even need to do in-patient rehab, and I haven't heard much lately about his holding out an olive branch to the Jewish community (if it's happening, it isn't being much publicized).

So confident was Disney that Mel's name wasn't mud that it released the film as "Mel Gibson's Apocalypto," evidently to distinguish it from all of the other "Apocalyptos" out there. In so doing, the studio was basically saying, "Hey, he may be an anti-Semite, but he's our anti-Semite, darn it!". It was very much a solidarity move that underscores just how little the studio really cared about Gibson's verbal transgression from a moral standpoint. It was always about business, and as long as Mel's bringing it in he can disparage anyone he wants aside from maybe, you know, Bob Iger or Anne Sweeney. And even those studio chieftains would probably look the other way if Gibson can continue to rule the box office with ultra-violent epics told in dead languages.

I'm not going to see "Apocalypto" even though I'm vaguely curious. It isn't a matter of not giving the guy a second chance. I simply have no desire to contribute financially, or symbolically, to Gibson's career redemption. Not that it even necessarily needed redeeming. We've forgiven and we're moving closer every day to forgetting. Maybe that's just human nature. As a journalist, I have to give Gibson the benefit of the doubt and put my own feelings aside. But as a human being and as a Jew, I'm not yet ready to let this go.

Who Are We Going To Believe -- Mel Or the Alcohol?

In answer to the above query, Mel Gibson certainly would appreciate our taking his word for it, that he isn't an anti-Semitic, misogynistic monster. It's just booze being booze. Yes, as Mel made clear during his two-morning redemption soiree with Diane Sawyer yesterday morning and this morning on ABC's "Good Morning America," it was all the alcohol's fault. Tequila is evidently the most powerful substance known to man, able not only to extract words but plant belief systems into the minds of those who ingest it to excess. I say we take this miracle serum and see if it'll cure cancer, stem the global tide of poverty and maybe even stoke world peace to boot.

I really and truly wanted to believe Gibson when I tuned in to his much-milked apologia these past two mornings. I wanted to see legitimate regret and contrition, remorse and some semblance of illumination. Instead, all I saw was a guy doing the bare minimum to save his ass in a manner that felt as disingenuous as it was rehearsed. He came across as sorry mostly that he got caught with his hand around the bottle and was being forced to pay penance in order to rescue his tattered rep. It had nothing to do with the drunk driving or the hatespeak spewing from his lips. It was more like, "Okay, I've been a bad boy. Fire away, Diane. I was stupid, I hurt a lot of people, I shouldn't have said that stuff, I apologize. Happy now? Good. I'm outta here."

If that sounds as if I wasn't willing to give the guy a fair shot no matter what he'd said, I honestly beg to differ. What I resent most about this time-tested living room confessional PR strategy is the marketing machinery that churns with such predictable deceit and insincerity. It has nothing to do with forgiving or not forgiving Mel. It's far more about playing us all for dupes. The contempt it shows for the public is palpable, even if it's hardly alarming.

I'm already a bit sick of the whole "The alcohol made me do it" blame game. It made Gibson chastise the Jews for all warfare and Mark Foley pursue underage male pages in Congress. But again, of course, chemical addiction does not in itself create behavior, it merely lubricates the mechanism by which it emerges. Will somebody please -- ever -- simply take responsibility, step up and say, "I was wrong, It was my fault, no one else/nothing else did it, just me"? Let me go check the temperature in Hell. It simply isn't done. If Gibson had uttered as much, he'd need to admit that he harbored some resentment toward or hatred of Jewish individuals, and of course he could never do that even if it were true (as it certainly appears). True honesty, after all, is only for losers.

In the Sawyer interview, Gibson merely copped to uttering "the stupid ramblings of a drunkard" while pretty much completely ignoring the underlying cause. And while Sawyer worked hard to convey the appearance of toughness with her whole "no questions are off limits" promise, it was mostly illusory. Then again, it was almost a moot point, as this whole exercise merely feigned the conventions of journalism without actually practicing them.

Do the math. Gibson's next feature, "Apocalypto," is being released by Touchstone Pictures. Disney owns Touchstone. Disney also owns ABC. Ergo, all who were present at this restorative fiasco masquerading as a heartfelt act of public contrition are in bed together. You think Sawyer was going to do or say anything that would risk making Gibson look bad (much less fire away with authentic abandon) when the company has important business with him? Not bloody likely, mate. So you also have to believe that only the most flattering and positive portions of the interview were included for air here.

Conveniently, Sawyer asked nothing about the business dealings between the pair and made no full disclosure admission, either. It thus speaks volumes that Gibson appeared so nakedly smug and almost dismissive of this character-boosting stunt. He made it clear that he has no use for those who have lambasted him for his little side-of-the-road transgression. He admitted to feeling "sad" for those people but reasoned that ultimately "it's their choice."

Sad? Seems an interesting choice of words. How about understanding? How about remorseful? How about regretful? Not from a guy who admitted with a laugh that his first concern upon being arrested and booked was that his mugshot look better than Nick Nolte's. That isn't amusing so much as indicative of someone who is primarily concerned -- even in his darkest hour -- with cosmetic appearance. And that's what this superficial "GMA" excursion was: about saving face and doing a quick makeover with the least amount of muss and fuss.

But as I wrote two days after the July 28 incident, we've already forgiven Gibson. The televised mea culpa is merely mop-up duty. That's not booze talking. That's reality.

Set Your TiVo For 'Alcoholic Redemption Theater'

Mel Gibson jump-starts his mea culpa tour in advance of the early December release of his new flick "Apocalypto" by sitting down with Diane Sawyer in an interview that airs in two parts, Thursday and Friday on ABC's "Good Morning America" (but not in primetime). The questions will no doubt fly fast and furious: "Are you an anti-Semite? Do you hate women? Have you stopped drinking? What happened that night? What was the deal with the beard? Can you make a movie where people speak in a language that isn't dead? Will you put on this yarmulke to prove your newfound solidarity with your Jewish brothers and sisters -- and if not, why not?"

Actually, the incomparable Nikki Finke has the early scoop about what went down when Diane met Mel, posting on her Deadline Hollywood Daily blog that a Gibson insider disclosed to her that Sawyer was "f***ing harder on him than I could imagine. I was cringing. No other TV journalist would have been that hard on him."

Here's the teaser from ABC.com.

Mel Gibson Is a Tequila-Swilling Anti-Semite: The Game

What in the name of all that's unholy have they been putting in the water over there at GSN: The Network For Games (which once was known simply as the far less ridiculous Game Show Network? This is a particularly urgent question considering the latest game GSN has put up online for your time-wasting pleasure. It's called "So you think you can drive, Mel?," and I probably don't need to spell out what precisely it entails -- but naturally, I will anyway.

You control Mel's car, since he clearly can't considering his inebriated state. There's a cartoon likeness of Mel, looking sufficiently blotto, his head peering out the passenger window of a nondescript subcompact that's in motion. The goal is to have Mel -- afflicted with an audible case of the hiccups, complete with bubbles -- collect as many tequila bottles as possible while dodging flying Stars of David flung by a gentleman who bears a striking resemblance to an Hasidic rabbi. All the while, the tune "Hava Nagila" plays. I am not (repeat, NOT) making this up.

The more tequila bottles you collect for Mel, the higher your score. But you lose points if you get hit by the flying stars or if you run down five of the state troopers who show up in the middle of the road. Oh, and there's also a meter at upper screen right that measures Mel's blood alcohol level (or "B.A.L." as it reads here).

So hey, just gotta say this feels excessively outrageous and cruel even to me, and shoot, I mean, I practically invented outrageous and cruel. I'm also still trying to figure out what Mel's personalized license plate means. It's "WTFWJD." I'm sure the J is for "Jew" and WTF is "What The F---", but beyond that I'm stumped. I'm also puzzled as to why GSN would see this as a clever mainstream game to create and promote on a Sony-parented site. Is this really the best use of GSN's online resources? Mind you, there is hardly any love lost between Mel and myself. I'm just not sure he deserves a shot that's this cheap, obvious and unfunny.

It also feels about a month or so late.

UPDATE: I've since been informed in no uncertain terms by several readers of this blog that WTFWJD means "What The F--- Would Jesus Do." I'm clearly not current on my profanity-laden spiritual acronyms, and for that I wholeheartedly apologize.

So Let Me See If I've Got This Straight: It's OK To Drive Drunk, Bash Jews and Womanize With Impunity, Just Don't Diss Psychiatry, Jump On Couches Or Father Children You Hide From the World

There is a disturbing subtext in the announcement by Paramount Pictures on Tuesday that it is parting company with the production company jointly operated by Tom Cruise and partner Paula Wagner that relates to Mel Gibson. And while I know this seems on its face to be a bit of a stretch, stick with me and I promise this will start making sense in just a moment.

First, let's do a little comparing and contrasting:

MEL GIBSON: He is arrested for DUI in a rant-filled incident that draws worldwide attention and all-too-brief condemnation. He excoriates Jewish people for their role in all warfare and reportedly directs a sexist slur at a female deputy refering to a portion of her anatomy that comes in pairs. There have long been whispers of anti-Semitism and homophobia as well as serial womanizing. Oh yes, he's also an icon for the Christian community, which some might find a tad hypocritical. Top brass at The Walt Disney Co. ponders all of this for maybe 15 or 20 minutes before concluding it's insufficient to tap any morals clause, announcing that its business association with Gibson will remain unaffected and his feature "Apocalypto" is to be released on schedule in December.

TOM CRUISE: He has what appears to be a faulty synapse-induced meltdown on the couch and stage of "The Oprah Winfrey Show," allegedly in his glee over a relationship with a woman he just met. There are reports of an uptick in his Scientology obsession on the set of "Mission: Impossible III." He locks horns with Matt Lauer on the "Today" show over his contention that psychiatry is a pseudo science, then he outrageously blasts Brooke Shields for taking meds to deal with postpartum depression. He impregnates the woman who inspired the "Oprah" hijinks and then shields the resulting child from public view. The coup de grace: "M:I III" underperforms at the box office. Viacom chairman Sumner Redstone told the Wall Street Journal on Tuesday, "(Cruise's) recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount."

Okay, now again, if we hold a mirror up to these situations, Cruise is at worst an iconoclast and a nut case, whereas Gibson has given evidence of intolerance, sexism, philandering and hatemongering. But Gibson gets to stay at a studio long synonymous with wholesomeness and family values and Cruise has to go due to unacceptable conduct? Gee, that's kind of interesting, huh?

I agree with my esteemed Hollywood Reporter colleague Anne Thompson that this ain't really about Cruise's sometimes erratic behavior at all. As Anne wrote on her Risky Biz blog, "Truth is, if Cruise had killed with 'M:I III,' they might have made a deal" for Cruise/Wagner to stay on the lot despite the prohibitive expense to the studio. She continues, "Cruise's cockeyed behavior gave the studio the excuse not to." Bingo. Let me also just add here that I'm pretty much the last guy in North America to rush to Tom Cruise's defense. But I smell a lame smokescreen.

What I had predicted from day one of the Mel Gibson fiasco has come to pass, and in the reverse it applies to the Cruise divorce from Paramount. It relates back to Richmond's Rules of Transgression: 1. Hollywood will forgive anything except being unsuccessful; 2. America will forgive anything except being unrepentant.

This has been more than borne out here. Cruise's stock as a money-generating superstar has shown a tangible drop that likely won't ever return to its previous level; therefore, he's expendable. He has also never apologized for any of his weirdness. Gibson's stock has been tarnished, but there is no evidence it has been seriously damaged. And besides, he issued not one but two allegedly heartfelt mea culpas. Gibson is therefore considered a worthwhile risk, particularly given his standing with religious America.

Had Gibson said during his drunken rant, "Oprah is responsible for all of the wars in history," this could be a far different conversation. But he didn't. Meanwhile, if this is to be believed, then it alone could explain Cruise's Paramount parting. We also know that had Cruise set box office records with the last "Mission," the quote from Redstone would have been something closer to, "His recent conduct has proven Tom Cruise to be a family man with deep religious convictions. That's the kind of human being we want associated with Paramount."

And that, as they say, is showbiz.

Somewhere, a Cryogenically-Preserved Walt Disney is Nodding in Approval

If ever we were wondering what the statute of limitations is on holding Hollywood megastars accountable for drunken, sexist, anti-Semitic meltdowns, the latest evidence shows that it's just short of two weeks. A scant 13 days after Mel Gibson's tirade in which he allegedly raged that "the Jews are responsible for all of the wars," the Walt Disney Co. on Friday confirmed that Gibson's latest flick "Apocalypto" will indeed be released as planned on Dec. 8.

You would think that the Tirade Heard 'Round the World and subsequent DUI arrest might at least give such a doggedly family-oriented company pause in terms of being in business with the ranter so soon after his trangression. But it turns out that the rumors of Disney's looking to peddle "Apocalypto" to another studio to distance itself from Gibson turned out to be precisely that: rumors and nothing more.

We must remember this is also the company that was founded by a man whose known disdain for those of the Jewish persuasian is reasonably well documented. And while no one is obviously suggesting that the studio today harbors any similar prejudice, there could be a certain sensitivity disconnect when it comes to this issue. It's true that the company squelched a Holocaust project in which Gibson's production company was involved soon after the scandal surfaced. Yet the scuttlebutt there is that Gibson's people continue to lobby Disney/ABC to put it back into development -- and I don't doubt, once the dust clears in a few months, that it could very well happen.

Meanwhile, I have recently run into several people who ask my take on the Gibson situation with the similtaneous judgment, "You're not one of those people who think he should be punished for this, are you?" As if an icon's flagrant hate spew through an alcoholic haze is akin to a contrite rush-hour fender bender after two beers. I'm not saying the guy ought to be persecuted for years, but the shoulder-shrugging minimizing of it so soon after the event -- and the irritation at those who insist on holding him accountable -- is disturbing to say the least.

Mel, We're Not Laughing At You, We're Laughing...OK, Actually It's At You

It's inevitable that innumerable parodies and spoofs done at Mel Gibson's expense will soon surface. But it's certain that none will be better or more genuinely uproarious than this mock film trailer promoting the fictitious new Gibson flick "Mel Gibson's Signs of Anti-Semitism," made for ifilm.com by editor Marcos Levy of VH1's "Best Week Ever" series along with Steven Santos.

Trust me. We're talking instant classic. Oy, my aching ribs.

Recalling Mr. Gibson's First 'South'-ern Exposure

No matter what "South Park" co-conspirators Trey Parker and Matt Stone manage to do to Mel Gibson from here in any future spoof, it's impossible to imagine them topping what they already did in April 2004 during his "Passion of the Christ" glory with their own uproarious "The Passion of the Jew" episode.

This clip is just about the funniest thing I've ever seen. Poor, poor Mel.