Trust Me, Kid, You Don't Want to Be Putting This Thing Anywhere Near Your Mouth

File this one under the heading "Highly Unnecessary Legal Disclaimers." Either that, or "Extremely Improbable Toddler Toy Choices." On the NBC Universal official Website in its Store section, there is listed an item entitled The Apprentice Donald Trump 12" Talking Doll. It apparently says stuff like "You're Fired" and (far less often) "Good Decision!" I'm actually only guessing about that last one, but the 1/6-scale Donald Doll (The Doll-ald?) does come in his own custom-made suit and says 17 Trumpist phrases using the man's actual golden voice.

Here's the weird part: evidently, the judicial branch of NBC Uni is taking no chances with this. In bold print at the bottom of the listing reads the following: "Warning: CHOKING HAZARD -- Small Parts. Not for Children Under 3 Years of Age."

Now maybe I'm taking a great leap here, but I don't foresee too many parents handing little Janie a Malibu Barbie and -- instead of Ken -- an Apprentice Trump doll, unless it's to make sure Barbie gets transformed straightaway into a backstabbing capitalist witch. Then again, if you're a parent and you do opt to gift your baby with a Talking Donnie for unsupervised play, you probably have issues far more urgent than the likelihood of your kid gagging on a Mini-Me Trump disembodied head or inch-long loafer.