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All They Were Saying...Is Give Fleece a Chance

They held that live pay-per-view seance for John Lennon last night ($9.95, or a $0.00 value) to summon the spirit of the deceased ex-Beatle, because for 10 bucks every television viewer should expect to watch people actually communicate with a onetime rock icon as opposed to simply going through the motions of doing so. And as you'll see in the above link, no less than the Washington Post thought enough of this thing to devote 10 or so column inches to covering it.

Here is what was claimed Lennon had to say: "Peace. The message is peace."

That's it? How absurdly, insipidly predictable is that? How's this instead: "Hey, Mr. Pay-Per-View Ripoff Artist, instant karma's gonna get you." Or even better: "Peace? No, the message isn't bloody peace. The message is this: Tell that Chapman bastard to rot in hell for taking away my life. Got that? It's r-o-t...i-n...h-e-l-l. Think you can pass that along? I've been trying to get it to him for 25 years. Much obliged, mate. Oh, and tell Paul that his old lady Linda and I are having a grand time waiting for him."

Now that I would have paid to hear. But "Peace. The message is peace"? I don't think so. We already gave peace a chance. Didn't work. At least, not yet. Honestly, if Lennon really could be spiritually contacted, he would have ridiculed the whole charade and done whatever he could to screw with their heads.

Oil In the Family: A New 'South Park' Scandal Rises in the Middle East

Stan, Kyle and Cartman have never looked quite so...well...Islamic. And we can blame it on WMD (Wearing Mustaches Distractingly). As detailed in this WorldNetDaily online piece, the Website for the discount carrier Air Arabia -- based in the United Arab Emirates -- features cartoon images that feel hauntingly familiar. The characters actually appear somewhat identical to the "South Park" boys (the same oversized round head, buggy white eyes, squat and puffy body, missing ears and clueless facial expression). What's different is the fact they're clad in traditional Arab garb and headgear and sport a few patches of hair about the face (small or large mustache, goatee and/or unruly growth as well as absurdly prominent eyebrows).

It's rather like the guys were kidnapped from their podunk backward Colorado mountain town, given lobotomies and plunked down in the Middle East with little or no knowledge of the life they'd lived before. Or it's the "South Park" episode where they all went as Arabic kids for Halloween. Or perhaps these are the twins each was separated from at birth. As you can see, the resemblance is fairly uncanny and clearly not accidental. ("I know what we'll do! We'll just make the head slightly rounder, the skin color a little deeper, change the clothes, paint the face a little and then bingo-bango! Perfect disguises! No one will ever know! We are geniuses!")

And of course, nothing says "This is a local airline I can fly with confidence" than pilfered American cartoon children augmented via hormonal and fashion makeover to trick consumers into believing they're just really immature adults. I'd like to meet the dude who brainstormed that brilliant marketing scheme. Actually, on second thought, maybe I wouldn't.

How did this happen? That's an awfully good question. Comedy Central is kind of wondering the same thing, having itself found out about this only earlier this month. But it's hardly a copyright infringement slam-dunk since there are seemingly enough appearance differences to keep Air Arabia in the clear. Still, a network spokesman says in the WorldNetDaily article that Comedy Central's legal department is looking into it.

As it had been a good solid 10 days since the last "South Park" controversy, and the first with international ramifications in at least 12, I'd say we were overdue. Creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone were believed to be running alarmingly low on material with the capacity to spur a sense of righteous indignation, and this incident hopefully will succeed in bringing to a close such a disconcerting week-and-a-half of harmony.