Past Deadline

Stewart and Colbert: No Writers, Lots of Laughs

Related story: Stewart devotes first night back to strike

By Barry Garron

THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART
(Comedy Central) 11 p.m. Monday through Thursday
THE COLBERT REPORT (Comedy Central)
11:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday

The heart of "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart"   and "The Colbert Report" is the timely wit and satire they bring to current events and, particularly, politics. It was assumed, therefore, that the two shows would be hurt more by the writers' strike than even the late-night talk shows. However, the first outings for both series indicated that, even with an empty writers' room, the jokes and humor were about as solid as ever.

Stewart will inevitably face the wrath of WGA members for crossing the picket line to bring "The Daily Show" back on the air. At the same time, he gave striking writers something to think about: Is it really anti-union to devote most of the show to arguing the union position?

Putting aside the impulse to catch viewers up on two months of politics, Stewart instead gave the lion's share of Monday night's program to arguing the logic of WGA demands and mocking the AMPTP stance. He explained sarcastically that writers were being denied even a portion of the $1.99 charged to download  "The Daily Show" because the charge is not for content but for shipping and handling.

For good measure, during an interview with Cornell University labor professor Ron Seeber, Stewart practically pleaded with the WGA to make him, a non-practicing Jew, the same kind of deal it made with David Letterman. That pact allowed Letterman's writers to return. Not to make the deal may be anti-Semitism, Stewart suggested. "The whole reason I got into this business is because I thought we controlled it."

The clever lines, sight gags and flow of the program belied any notion that this was one long ad lib. Joked Stephen Colbert, in a tease that preceded "The Colbert Report," "I'm very alarmed at how prepared you seemed."

Colbert, whose TV persona is a conservative union-basher, suggested his return to the show was an act of consistency. However, he, too, alluded to the importance of his writers. "I don't need my writers," he said, "which brings me to tonight's word." At that point, the split screen was blank where the night's word normally would be.

Earlier, during an interview with Andrew Sullivan of "The Atlantic" magazine, Colbert chided Democratic candidate Barack Obama for being willing to talk with the leaders of Iran and Syria but refusing to be a guest on  "The Colbert Report."

Not all candidates are following Obama's lead. Reportedly, Republican Mike Huckabee has been booked on Colbert's show on Wednesday. Stewart will alter the name of his show during the strike, turning "The Daily Show" into "A Daily Show." And Colbert, in solidarity with writers, will pronounce the last letter of his name. But the fact remains that both shows offered significant evidence that the contribution of their writers is at least slightly overrated.

Stewart and Colbert Strike Back Tonight

Now this should be interesting.

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert return their "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report," respectively, to the late-night talk show wars tonight after having been forced to sit on the sidelines for two months because of the WGA walkout. The strike remains very much alive, of course, but the Comedy Central boys -- with their late-hours broadcast brethren having returned to the air last week -- didn't really have any choice but to come back. You can safely bet that it isn't their call. Neither would be returning without their writers unless a gun was to their head -- and a semi-automatic at that.

More than the Lenos and Lettermans and Kimmels and O'Briens and Fergusons, Stewart and Colbert are very much a product of their writers. Yes, they're extraordinarily funny satirists in their own right, but the idea that they would have to grow overnight into improv artists is pretty much unfathomable. It not only changes the entire dynamic of their shows, forcing them to do far more interviews and less schtick, but it also eliminates their secret weapon (the writers) just as political campaign season is really heating up.

That said, a vamping Stewart and Colbert could also lead to some spontaneous magic that would never otherwise have materialized. So I'll be watching -- and checking in late tonight/early tomorrow morning with an early assessment.

YouTube loses its funny

The party's over.

Head on over to YouTube today, and try and click on any number of Comedy Central-related clips -- of which there are hundreds, including "South Park," "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" -- and you will see the message linked above.

Based on blog reports (including one at the revered Boing Boing), YouTube has begun mailing members with cease and desist style notices, citing copyright infringement, and isn't waiting for members to take down the videos themselves; they're just stripping them clean.

This can't come as much of a surprise; once Google made the site a $1.65 billion business, it opened up some deep pockets that make it ripe for litigation. And like a snowball gathering speed, momentum and volume in the past weeks, YouTube is going to be Just Like Everywhere Else now.

What it is, however, is classic big business hubris that will lessen not just public opinion of Comedy Central, but of YouTube. One of the primary reasons YouTube was worth $1.65 billion is that fans knew they could host and view the clips they wanted to see, when they wanted to see them, there. YouTube turned a blind eye to copyright infringement; Comedy Central turned the same blind eye. Both profited and benefited from this "I can't hear you, la la la" mentality -- they earned publicity, goodwill among users (many of whom are likely already viewers or Apple subscribers), and viewers got what they wanted.

And if Comedy Central thinks they're already giving viewers what they want on their own site, they're in for a rude awakening. One blogger has listed the reasons YouTube is superior to Comedy Central's viewer, noting:

You have tiny little videos that can’t be resized. It’s like watching TV from the next room through the keyhole of a closed door.

He's also got a thought or two on the whole CC Web site:

Flashing banner ads? Is that some kind of a Comedy Central joke that’s over my head? There’s this company called Google that showed everybody that annoying your customers isn’t necessary to get them to click on things. Instead, their idea is to give people what they want. You might also want to check out their website for some layout ideas.

So, here we are, copyright flags waved, videos removed, and nobody's happy. YouTube is on its way to being the Friendster of the year. What no one who tries to harness the Internet seems to yet understand is that it expands, contracts and spreads organically. Put a leash on it, and those who made it so popular in the first place run off to another spot that doesn't require such restrictions. As we've reported here recently, there'll no doubt be some kind of pirate site up within hours -- if there isn't already -- which will host not just clips of "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" (we know there are already tons of sites for "South Park" episodes) but whole episodes. For a time, YouTube had that beast under control, and now -- it's over.

YouTube is dead. Long live the next YouTube.

-- Randee Dawn

UPDATE (10/31): A random search for "South Park," "Daily Show" and "Colbert Report" turns up clips still present and accounted for on YouTube -- and playing just fine. Perhaps there's been a little corporate re-thinking here.

Regarding Stephen Colbert's Seminal Monologue Last Saturday: Here Is the Transcript, the Whole Transcript and Nothing But the Transcript (So Help Me God)

It's the White House Correspondents' Dinner monologue that won't die. Satirist and Comedy Central personality extraordinaire Stephen Colbert's blisteringly harsh but brilliant skewering of President Bush as he sat mere feet away continues to stir the pot of controversy and spur conspiracy theories that allege it's being soft-peddled and/or ignored in the media due to a lily-livered press whitewash. And to that end, YouTube.com was forced to take the clip of the full speech down due to a protest by C-SPAN.

But having read the entire text from Chris Durang's Huffington Post blog, I was struck by just how hard-edged and funny Colbert's speech really was. Somehow, the impact feels somehow greater when consumed in printed form. Possibly even funnier, too. See if you agree.

Here's the full transcript:

Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I've been asked to make an announcement. Whoever parked 14 black bullet proof S.U.V.'S out front, could you please move them. They are blocking in 14 other black bulletproof S.U.V.'S and they need to get out.

Wow, wow, what an honor. The White House Correspondents' Dinner. To just sit here, at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush, to be this close to the man. I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You know what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face.

Is he really not here tonight? The one guy who could have helped. By the way, before I get started, if anybody needs anything at their tables, speak slowly and clearly on into your table numbers and somebody from the N.S.A. Will be right over with a cocktail.

Mrs. Smith, ladies and gentlemen of the press corps, Mr. President and First Lady, my name is Stephen Colbert and it's my privilege tonight to celebrate our president. He's not so different, he and I. We get it. We're not brain backs on the nerd patrol. We're not members of the fact (police). We go straight from the gut, right sir? That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going to say I did look it up, and that's not true. That's but you looked it up in a book.

Next time look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works. Every night on my show, "The Colbert Report," I speak straight from the gut, OK? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the no fact zone. Fox News, I own the copyright on that term.

I'm a simple man with a simple mind, with a simple set of beliefs that I live by. Number one, I believe in America. I believe it exists.

My gut tells me I live there. I feel that it extends from the Atlantic to the Pacific, and I strongly believe it has 50 states. And I cannot wait to see how the Washington Post spins that one tomorrow. I believe in democracy. I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out in plastic for three cents a unit.

In fact, ambassador, welcome, your great country makes our Happy Meals possible. I said it's a celebration. I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible -- I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical. And though I am a committed Christian, I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be it Hindu, Jewish or Muslim. I believe our infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
Ladies and gentlemen, I believe it's yogurt. But I refuse to believe it's not butter. Most of all I believe in this president.

Now, I know there's some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval nd by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

I believe in rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias.

So, Mr. President, pay no attention to the people that say the glass is half full. 32% means the glass -- it's important to set up your jokes properly, sir. Sir pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash.

Folks, my point is that I don't believe this is a low point in this presidency. I believe it is just a lull, before a comeback.

I mean, it's like the movie "Rocky." The president is Rocky and Apollo Creed is everything else in the world. It's the 10th round. He's bloodied, his corner man, Mick, who in this case would be the Vice President, and he's yelling cut me, dick, cut me, and every time he falls she say stay down! Does he stay down? No. Like Rocky he gets back up and in the end he -- actually loses in the first movie. Ok. It doesn't matter.

The point is the heart-warming story of a man who was repeatedly punched in the face. So don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he's not doing? Think about it. I haven't.

I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.

Now, there may be an energy crisis. This president has a very forward-thinking energy policy. Why do you think he's down on the ranch cutting that brush all the time? He's trying to create an alternative energy source. By 2008 we will have a mesquite powered car.

And I just like the guy. He's a good joe. Obviously loves his wife, calls her his better half. And polls show America agrees. She's a true lady and a wonderful woman. But I just have one beef, ma'am. I'm sorry, but this reading initiative. I've never been a fan of books. I don't trust them. They're all fact, no heart. I mean, they're elitist telling us what is or isn't true, what did or didn't happen. What's Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was built in 1914. If I want to say it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American. I'm with the president, let history decide what did or did not happen.

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday, that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change, this man's beliefs never will.

And as excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story, the President's side and the Vice President's side.

But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on N.S.A. wiretapping or secret prisons in Eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason, they're superdepressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished.

Over the last five years you people were so good over tax cuts, W.M.D. intelligence, the affect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.

But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works. The President makes decisions, he's the decider. The Press Secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home.

Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know, fiction.

Because really, what incentive do these people have to answer your questions, after all? I mean, nothing satisfies you. Everybody asks for personnel changes. So the White House has personnel changes. Then you write they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg.

Now, it's not all bad guys out there. Some heroes, Buckley, Kim Schieffer. By the way, Mr. President, thank you for agreeing to be on my show. I was just as shocked as everyone here is I promise you. How is Tuesday for you? I've got Frank Rich, but we can bump him.

And I mean bump him. I know a guy. Say the word.

See who we've got here tonight. General Mowsly, Air Force Chief of Staff. General Peter Pace. They still support Rumsfeld. You guys aren't retired yet, right? Right, they still support Rumsfeld.

Look, by the way, I've got a theory about how to handle these retired generals causing all this trouble, don't let them retire. C'mon, we've got a stop loss program, let's use it on these guys. If you're strong enough to go on one of those pundit shows, you can stand on a bank of computers and order men into battle. C'mon.

Jesse Jackson is here. I had him on the show. Very interesting and challenging interview. You can ask him anything, but he's going to say what he wants at the pace that he wants. It's like boxing a glacier.

Enjoy that metaphor, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.

Justice Scalia's here. May I be the first to say welcome, sir. You look fantastic. How are you? (imitates hostile gestures Scalia was reported to have made)

John McCain is here. John McCain John McCain. What a maverick. Somebody find out what fork he used on his salad, because I guarantee you wasn't a salad fork. He could have used a spoon. There's no predicting him. So wonderful to see you coming back into the republican fold. I have a summerhouse in South Carolina, look me up when you go to speak at Bob Jones University. So glad you've seen the light.

Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city. Yeah, give it up. Mayor Nagin, I would like to welcome you to Washington, D.C., The chocolate city with a marshmallow center. And a graham cracker crust of corruption. It's a mallomar is what I'm describing, a seasonal cookie.

Joe Wilson is here, the most famous husband since Desi Arnaz. And of course he brought along his lovely wife Valerie Plame. Oh, my god! Oh, what have I said. I am sorry, Mr. President, I meant to say he brought along his lovely wife, Joe Wilson's wife. Pat Fitzgerald is not here tonight? Dodged a bullet.

And we can't forget man of the hour, new Press Secretary, Tony Snow. Secret service name, Snow Job. What a hero, took the second toughest job in government, next to, of course, the ambassador to Iraq. Got some big shoes to fill, Tony. Scott McClellan could say nothing like nobody else.

McClellan, eager to retire. Really felt like he needed to spend more time with Andrew Card's children.

Mr. President, I wish you hadn't made the decision so quickly, sir. I was vying for the job. I think I would have made a fabulous press secretary. I have nothing but contempt for these people. I know how to handle these clowns. In fact, sir, I brought along an audition tape and with your indulgence, I'd like to at least give it a shot. So, ladies and gentlemen, my press conference. "

At this point, there's a brief video that shows Colbert having a give-and-take with the media. And then it's over. However, the debate over the speech's appropriateness and proximate news value could well continue on for weeks or months to come.

In Washington, They're Still Asking, 'Who Invited Him?'

Everybody's still talking about Stephen Colbert's breathtakingly biting and sublimely disrespectful satirical monologue at Saturday's annual black-tie White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. It seemed to reflect on one's own political orientation as to whether Colbert -- host of Comedy Central's consistently uproarious and edgy "The Colbert Report" (or "Col-bear Ra-pour," as he pronounces it) -- came across as funny or blasphemous. From watching the clip, I'd say it was both. But his roast-like material was met mostly with cold rejection by those in attendance.

Of course, this calls into question just what those who invited Colbert were expecting. He couldn't very well tiptoe around the issues, even with President Bush sitting 10 feet from him, and maintain his reputation for in-your-face, take-no-prisoners lampooning. This is probably my own political bias showing, but I found what Colbert did to be courageous. He had to understand early on that he wasn't among many like-minded souls in the crowd of 2,600, and yet he fired the guns anyway -- telling Editor & Publisher that he chose to see the uncomfortable reaction to one joke as a "very respectful silence."

You've got to love the balls of a guy who can look the President of the United States in the eye and advise him to ignore his dreadful approval ratings because they only reflect reality and, after all, reality has a well-known liberal bias." Most of those in attendance didn't appear to appreciate the shots, but one still has to applaud the wickedly clever Colbert for having the guts to do what he does on TV every night in front of a gathering that distinguished itself by sitting on its hands as he spoke. Colbert kissed no ass this night, and that's why he's fast becoming America's greatest living humorist.