Past Deadline

A Little Script In Your Reality Show, My Dear?

Leanna seems like a lovely 20-year old woman. She's also one who, having decided that she has 10 pounds to lose, applied to appear in a reality show called "The Last 10 Pounds Bootcamp."

She's also decided to blog the experience. Suffice it to say, the "reality" of this weight loss show is about as loose as those extra 10.

(The producer) wanted to get shots of me eating potato chips and drinking pop for breakfast. Which again, is not something I do. I was pretty angry at that point and ranted at him for a while until he agreed that it wasn't a good idea (hah). I told him that I did not want to be portrayed as some overindulgent-only eats fast food, type of person. I am far from that, I'm practically obsessed with what I eat. My weight issue is due to wrong choices here and there, not constantly. I will eat well for a week then..er.. "accidentally" eat a whole pizza. But I have too much pride to be portrayed in such a negative way....

They had a table filled with the food I supposedly ate in my food diary.
(I don't recall eating a big plate of Mcdonalds fries?!) So they did the whole "You eat this much sugar! *hands bucket of sugar*", and I had to act disgusted with what I ate.

Then one of the producers had to take me away for coffee while they set up another surprise!! OMG! I had a little chat with her on the way and she apologized for how exaggerated it was, but it does make sense that it is in fact, entertainment.

They only started filming on February 9, by the way. Frankly, I'm a little stunned that nobody made her sign an agreement not to blog.

Now, the notion that reality shows fake some of their scripts is hardly going to cause a scandal. Most of the situations are, of course, artificially constructed. But the idea that from day one scenes are virtually constructed from whole cloth makes it just another dumb program, with no basis in reality -- and no watchability.

And for those wondering, the "Last 10" is actually a Canadian series. I'm quite certain no American reality show would ever consider pushing the envelope so far off the table that it falls into a ravine like these producers have. Right? Right?

--Randee Dawn

Helpful Site Alert! How To Watch Oscar Films Whenever You Like

We here at Past Deadline like to help. We all know you're busy folk out there, unable to wait for your Oscar screeners to land in your mailbox or on your desk, and gosh, there are so many to see -- wouldn't it be swell if you could just download the little buggers whenever you had the time, and watch them as you can fit them into your busy, busy schedule? (Because we all know that Art Direction is best viewed on a small computer screen, anyway.)

Well, ask yourself that question no more. A lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of risk-taking has gone into Oscartorrents.com, which now has every single Oscar-nominated film available for you to download. Free. In a BitTorrent format. Well, at least links to the films.

Legal? Not on your pirate hat, Charlie. But don't fret too much: The Oscartorrents folks (who're also known as the League of Noble Peers and are behind "Steal This Film") are here to reassure you:

To those worried about downloading in case they get sued: by our calculations, your chances of getting nailed are way less than your chances of winning the lottery. Don't think twice about it.

To all intellectual property landlords: we are aware that OscarTorrents might annoy you -- but contain your righteous indignation for a while, and think: we're only linking to torrents that already exist. Face it: your membrane has burst, and it wasn't us who burst it. Your precious bodily fluids are escaping.

You haven't beaten us, so why not join us? Think of a new business model that doesn't involve overpriced pieces of plastic and skanky cinemas hawking cheap carbohydrates while relying on $6/hr projectionists who can't keep a film in focus -- not to mention insulting your audiences by (to pick a few examples) surveilling us with nightvision glasses, searching bags, 30 minutes of commercials and bombarding us with ridiculous anti-piracy propaganda. Take a look at yourselves. Is it really any wonder we're winning?

I'm starting the countdown to see how long this site remains online ... now.

-- Randee Dawn

A Little Princess?

File this one under Chuck Shepherd's News of the Weird sub-category of "Can't Possibly Be True":

"The husband of actress Zsa Zsa Gabor said Friday that he had a decade-long affair with Anna Nicole Smith and may be her infant daughter's father.

The claim by Prince Frederick von Anhalt comes amid a paternity suit over Smith's 5-month-old daughter, Dannielynn. The birth certificate lists Dannielynn's father as attorney Howard K. Stern [pictured with Smith], but former Smith boyfriend Larry Birkhead is waging a legal challenge, saying he is the father."

More here.

--Randee Dawn

Shocking Obit: Anna Nicole Smith Dies

How very sad. Details are still emerging, but it appears that Anna Nicole Smith has died.

She led a very vibrant life, to say the least, as a Playboy pinup, wife of a tycoon, reality show star and Trim Spa spokesperson. It was easy to poke fun at her for any of a dozen reasons, but I have to say I always rather liked that someone who played (or was) the classic modern dumb blonde managed to get her case taken to the Supreme Court. And she won.

Details remain sketchy, though they won't likely for long; all we know at this point is that she was found unconscious this afternoon at her hotel room at the Hard Rock Cafe in Hollywood, Florida. The former Vickie Lynn Hogan (married name: Marshall) would have been 40 in November.

-- Randee Dawn

Well Drawn: Internet Artist Scores Gig

Remember this? The "Simpsonzu" we blogged about on Jan. 8?

Well, we weren't the only ones, but witness the power of the Internet: The artist, Nina Matsumoto (aka *spacecoyote on deviantART, where she posts some of her work), has been noticed thanks to the wide circulation of the piece. She's even gotten a job....

With Matt Groening, "The Simpsons" creator.

Turns out he's also the publisher of Bongo Comics, and that company offered her work. According to a brief update on deviantART, Matsumoto will be doing pencil work for a short Manga version of "The Simpsons," and may also be working with 20th Century Fox on the relaunch of "Futurama."

She's already got a big head start on "Futurama," should she end up there — after all, she created this piece of art, too.

Not a bad turnout for a piece of work that she says (on the deviantART site) she would have done a better job on "if I knew this piece would receive so much attention.... This was originally drawn with the intention of scaring my friends."

-- Randee Dawn

Pirates of the Canadian — Maybe Not So Much

An update to the recent unpleasantness that was uncovered when it was announced by the MPAA that the root of all piracy evil was located in -- Canada.

Michael Geist, who writes a syndicated weekly column called "Law Bites," is taking exception. Not just with the facts presented, but with the methodology of the numbers behind the so-called facts -- and the overall effects of piracy on the industry as a whole.

Says Geist:

Over the past two weeks, reports have pegged the Canadian percentage of global camcording at either forty or fifty percent.  Yet the International Intellectual Property Alliance, a U.S. lobby group that includes the MPAA, advised the U.S. government in late September that Canadians were the source for 23 percent of camcorded copies of DVDs. 

Not surprisingly, none of these figures have been subject to independent audit or review.  In fact, AT&T Labs, which conducted the last major public study on movie piracy in 2003, concluded that 77 percent of pirated movies actually originate from industry insiders and advance screener copies provided to movie reviewers.

Moreover, the industry's numbers indicate that camcorded versions of DVDs strike only a fraction of the movies that are released each year.  As of August 2006, the MPAA documented 179 camcorded movies as the source for infringing DVDs since 2004.  During that time, its members released approximately 1400 movies, suggesting that approximately one in every ten movies is camcorded and sold as infringing DVDs.  According to this data, Canadian sources are therefore responsible for camcorded DVD versions of about three percent of all MPAA member movies.

Lots more good stuff here.

-- Randee Dawn

Must Explode TV! The Reckoning

It all works out in the end. And really, for just the cost of getting an omelet of egg on their faces, and becoming the butt of any number of Lite-Brite jokes, it should work out that Boston will make money off of its recent screaming panic over the appearance of Mooninite figures around town that were actually meant to be an ad for Cartoon Network's "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" (at left, with said scary green character photoshopped in).

News sources are reporting that a settlement is going down over the incident; Turner Broadcasting (which owns Cartoon Network) and the marketing company that created the devices, Interference, Inc. are expected to pay out $2 million, half of which will go to the city agencies that were ordered by officials to treat the ads as if they were bombs, while the other half will go to homeland security and other related agencies.

Meanwhile, according to Boston Mayor Thomas Menino, the whole episode cost the city a mere $500,000.

So, a memo to city officials elsewhere: If you're fine with looking like Henny Penny, rather than carefully and quietly investigating homeland security related matters, you too can get corporations to cough up a bundle. It may cost you the mental security and well-being of your citizens, but eh. A few suggestions:

New York: Times Square advertising is overwhelming. Something must be suspicious. The Cup O'Noodles is smoking, for crying out loud!

Seattle: Is that really all fish you're scenting at the fish market? Perhaps Microsoft planted a few chips in the shrimp? You should check that out.

Los Angeles: The whole town is covered in a brownish scrim. Smog, some say -- I say go after the car manufacturers! That is a public safety issue! The terrorists could be hiding in the troposphere!

Washington, D.C.: Has anyone checked the Capitol cupola recently? Who painted it? Can we go after Sherman-Williams?

Who needs taxes? Hurrah, Mayor Menino, you've pocketed a cool half-million in less than a week for your city. I'm sure it will go to all the right places.

Meanwhile, Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens, who were arrested in connection with the panic, are still waiting on a resolution. According to the CNN article linked above:

The attorney general's office also has begun discussions with the attorneys of two men charged in the incident.

Peter Berdovsky, 27, and Sean Stevens, 28, were arrested Wednesday after the panic settled down. Both pleaded not guilty Thursday to placing a hoax device and disorderly conduct.

Coakley said the discussions with the pair's attorneys should result in a "resolution to the criminal charges" against them.

Wonder if they can squeeze out a couple thousand more ... you know, for the city.

--Randee Dawn

Must Explode TV! Part 2

So. Not a box. Or a "package." Or particularly suspicious-looking. This looks like a Lite-Brite project, and it does not look like anything that could be remotely considered bomb-like. Do bombs require C batteries?

But then again, I don't work for the Boston police force.

This is what the "boxes" that all but shut down Boston yesterday, but failed to ignite anything in Seattle, where they were located and simply removed, looked like. According to the Seattle Times:

When news of events in Boston began to be reported Wednesday, he said, the Seattle Police Department called and passed on the information about the locations of other devices.

McSwain and other officers removed three more of the devices from various locations, including an awning at a business, in a mini-mall and in front of another business.

The appearance of the devices indicated they weren't too sinister, with one officer describing them as a battery, a light and a cartoon character making an obscene gesture, McSwain said.

Three devices also were found in Bothell, police reported. Officers acting on information from the Seattle Police Department removed the devices and knew the devices were not a threat.

Seattle police also found several of the devices in the city but declined to reveal their location or how many there were.

Authorities said some of the objects looked like circuit boards or had wires hanging from them.

In other words, they acted sanely. Maybe they have a few younger members on the force, who have actually seen the show.

Still, the real show came this afternoon from the two guys arrested for the Boston incident, Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens, who held a press conference to discuss the grave importance of what they've done -- er, rather, retro hairstyles. You can watch the video here.

As noted in an addendum to the article next to the video:

In the clip above, the two gentlemen responsible for the placement of the lightboxes have some fun with the media frenzy, discussing various hairstyles of the 60s and 70s. The press accuses of them of not taking it seriously but, in a sense, they're taking it just as seriously as they ought to.

Emphasis mine.

Exactly.

-- Randee Dawn

Must Explode TV!

Well, it's not a show that's actually on Cartoon Network, but after today it could be. (Yes, we've doctored the picture.)

It is true that cartoons exist in an alternate universe, but the marketing and promotional ideas that promote them are firmly fixed in this reality -- which apparently was forgotten by the folks at Cartoon Network and Turner Broadcasting, and specifically one twentysomething marketer. (Who we suspect, once he's out of jail, will need to find more work.)

It appears that as part of a plan to promote Adult Swim's "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," somewhere between 15-30 boxes were planted around Boston. (The campaign was also targeted at other major cities like Los Angeles, Seattle, New York and Portland.) But stray boxes with wires popping out of them these days seem less like a reason for curiosity and more like a possibility of something going all "24" on us at any moment.

In any case, once someone spotted a box near a major highway (hello? what kind of ad placement is that?) the bomb squad was called out, and they blew it up. Subsequent boxes were found all over the city, causing shutdowns, slowdowns, and a very busy day for the suspicious package crew.

TBS said in a statement, "The 'packages' in question are magnetic lights that pose no danger. We regret that they were mistakenly thought to pose any danger."

According to this report, the packages had been in place for two to three weeks. Weeks? So why has someone only just noticed in Boston?

Tonight an arrest was made of a 27-year old man from the Boston suburb of Arlington, and he's been charged with a felony -- and the Massachusetts attorney general has said he's considering charges against TBS, according to Fox News in New York.

There is the old saying that all publicity is good publicity, but I think we can make an exception in this case. So, note to all marketers: If your publicity campaign ends up calling out the bomb squad, then there's a good chance there really is a bomb there ... in your marketing strategy.

-- Randee Dawn

UPDATE: Gee, whiz, apparently I'm slow. The geniuses at Boing Boing are of course all over this and have targeted not only some very questionable journalistic ethics (the LED in the packages featured a Mooninite with an upraised finger which several media outlets are apparently photoshopping out. Plus, it's already possible to buy the LED Mooninite figure (yes, you'll have to watch the show and tell me just what the importance is on "Aqua Teen Hunger Force") on a T-shirt at  Raplica.com.

And he hasn't been photoshopped. I sense the conversation on this is just getting started.

Losing the Genius In a Bottle

Though it may seem hard to believe from the creator of "I Dream of Jeannie," strong, empowered -- and naturally beautiful -- women all over the world have lost a champion in Sidney Sheldon, who died yesterday at 89. (AP obit here.)

Who doesn't remember staying up until dawn to finish "The Other Side of Midnight" or dragging "Nothing Lasts Forever" to the beach? Sheldon wrote classic, pulpy plots that virtually toppled over with improbable romance and intrigue, yet usually featured women who -- after some considerable time getting the short end of the stick -- stood up for themselves and just wouldn't take it any more.

But Sheldon wasn't just an author who dictated 50-some pages a day (then went over revisions the next); as mentioned earlier, he created "I Dream of Jeannie" and "Hart to Hart" and won an Oscar for his screenplay for Cary Grant's "The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer" in 1947; he was a WWII army pilot and once had three musicals on Broadway. It seems hard to imagine anyone else with the breadth of interest and talent he had to ever make as many marks in as many areas of Hollywood as Sheldon did -- or that anyone else will ever come along to rival his prolific pen.

It takes all kinds in this industry: We should only hope there are a few more like Sidney Sheldon. Here's hoping the other side of his midnight is full of beautiful, brainy women and TV shows that never get canceled.

-- Randee Dawn

She'll Always Have Paris

Sometimes, the copy just writes itself.

There's been a rash -- okay, two a trend does not make, but work with me here, people -- of celebrities and their storage lockers. For someone like Whitney Houston, that which has been consigned to the dusty bins of a storage facility for years can, in fact turn out to be a boon. Don't we all wish we could scrounge up some serious cash by auctioning off our unmentionables and forgottens and left behinds? Okay, maybe not so much the unmentionables. But don't tell that to Houston, who did all right earlier this month selling off such items. And talk about about the sisterhood of the traveling pants -- the National Enquirer got its grubby little hands on some of the  clothing and is going make it available as a prize in a contest!

But now we have Paris Hilton. As you've likely heard, she -- or her moving company -- failed to pay a storage locker fee of around $200, and so her personal belongings, including diaries and photos, were sold off. To two folks. For around $3,000. Who then sold them again. For $10 million.

Jeez, I'm in the wrong business.

The new owner, Bardia Persa, cataloged and scanned every bit, and put them up at ParisExposed.com. To view, you're gonna have to fork over $40. That's a lot of subscriptions before you get to $10 million, so I have to wonder.

But now, if Paris has anything to do with it, nobody will get to see anything. And herein lies the humor.

In a lawsuit filed today, Hilton and her lawyers are trying to get the site shut down. From the Reuters article:

"This action seeks to enjoin perhaps one of the most single egregious and reprehensible invasions of privacy ever committed against an individual," Hilton's attorneys wrote in the lawsuit, which claims copyright infringement, invasion of privacy and violation of her right to publicity.... I was appalled to learn that people are exploiting my and my sisters' private personal belongings for commercial gain," Hilton, star of the reality TV series "The Simple Life," said in a declaration attached to the lawsuit.

This may be the first case thrown out of court based on the fact that, through the plaintiff's own choices and actions, she can be said to have absolutely no right to privacy. The only reason anyone has any interest in Paris is to see what oopsie she's going to make next in the name of exploiting her privacy.

But maybe that's the point: Paris wants to reserve the right to exploit herself at her leisure.

-- Randee Dawn

Pirates of the Canadian

Yeah, so, easy target, I guess, but it turns out -- according to the Hollywood honchos tasked with rooting out the, uh, roots of piracy -- that it all comes back to the Canucks.

Twentieth Century Fox is all over this -- it's their investigation that has turned up evidence that more than 50 percent of all pirated film titles are coming from the Great White North.

And it's war, I tell you, war! Or, at least, the threat of delayed releases.

According to an investigation by Twentieth Century Fox, most of the illegal recording, or "camcording," is taking place in Montreal movie houses, taking advantage of bilingual releases and lax copyright laws.

"In Quebec, it is much more advantageous because you get both English and French. You cover a bigger part of the world," said Ellis Jacob, chief executive of the Cineplex Entertainment theatre chain. "They are using Canada because they can have the movie out on the street in the Philippines and China before it even releases there."

Jacob said he was warned in a letter from Bruce Snyder, president of Fox's domestic distribution, that if Canada doesn't do something to curb its growing piracy problem, Hollywood will.

"They are definitely thinking about delaying releases in Canada," said Jacob. "This is very, very bad for our Canadian consumer and it's bad for the industry as a whole."

First, you gotta really show your passports when crossing the border. Now, possible delayed film releases in Canada. When will the nightmare end?

-- Randee Dawn

MIDEM: Much more than one-meeellion dollars at stake here

Though things were, without a doubt, wildly exciting at TCA, they almost don't hold a candle to what's going on over in Cannes at MIDEM, where about 10,000 music industry honchos (and other related folks) are gathering until the 25th to discuss the industry and its future -- that is, assuming it still has one.

What I was frankly not aware of is that while the RIAA and the MPAA are BFF in terms of the whole DRM issue, the CEA -- that's the one acronym you might not be familiar with: They're the Consumer Electronics Association -- are not playing ball in the same court. While the MPAA and the RIAA take the position that they have the content content-users want, and therefore will dole it out as they see fit, how they see fit, and with what protections they see fit, the CEA folks seem to be taking a more, well, traditionally capitalistic approach: Consumers want technology that doesn't permit DRM. Therefore, new consumer electronics should not accept DRM. As CEA president Gary Shaprio noted in a down-and-dirty opening session discussion:

"Consumers have certain rights to move content around their home. DRM is clearly desired by components of the motion picture and music industries, but consumers have started to revolt against it and you’re beginning to hear it. It’s confusing and resented by consumers. Business models are emerging and major record labels are starting to pick up on this. [If you drop DRM], you’re taking a risk that unethical consumers will spread the content around the world—but that’s a risk you’re going to have to take. ... When the law penalizes so much, something is wrong and has to be changed. When consumers are afraid to do something for a school project because they’ve listened to the RIAA disinformation campaign, something is wrong. Consumers are rejecting DRM [because it’s confusing]. Independents and some major labels soon are going to be saying ‘no DRM on our products.'"

Things got more heated when RIAA chairman Mitch Bainwol spoke the "e" word:

"... [Gary] wants to morph fair use into a concept that justifies any consumer behavior to the point where you eliminate the value of property. Kids grow up not understanding that music and movies are intellectual property. You teach disrespect for intellectual property. Gary takes a concept, morphs it, makes us look like we’re evil."

To which Shaprio noted:

"I don’t make you look evil -- your lawsuits against old people around the country make you look evil. You’re very good at paraphrasing things I never said."

There's more excellent debate notated here at PaidContent.org, where these quotes have already come from. I'm hoping for mud-wrestling by the end of the conference. And suddenly I'm considering buying some new consumer electronics....

--Randee Dawn

(original link found at Boing Boing)

Actors, Guns and Money

Sometimes, a headline just jumps out at  you and, like a bad car accident, you can't not look.

"Arming TV Celebrities Raises Concerns" did it for me.

At first, I thought there was some kind of riot at Sony headquarters, or that the Producers Guild of America credit issue had gone to the next level, with the actors insisting on carry permits.

But that just proves I haven't been paying attention to the CBS reality show, "Armed & Famous," which premiered last night. It's another example of a TV concept hatched between lunch and first drink of the day, when some genius noted that "armed and dangerous" kind of sort of sounds like "armed and famous," and someone else said, "Ding!"

Apparently four celebrities desperate for work (and really, that should be "celebrities") agree to train (which should be "train") to be police officers in Muncie, Indiana. The closest any of them come to actual law enforcement experience is Erik Estrada, who once played a cop on "CHiPs." (Unasked-for Disclosure: I had a major thing for him then. I was 8.) As part of the training, guns are involved.

Locals are not pleased, and one -- a writer at The Star Press -- has a blog up on the show.

And yet, I may watch. From the article:

(New York Post critic Linda Stasi) said the only fun part of the series was to see each of the stars react when hit with a 50,000 volt Taser stungun which apparently is mandatory before being allowed to carry one.

Electric!

-- Randee Dawn

Rant Of The Day: Cable Programming Gone Stupid

Greetings.

So not only is this a post written while being dubiously medicated by whatever old medicines happened to be lying around the office this afternoon (due to the cold I am apparently catching two weeks after the rest of the office got infected), this is a post in response to the post below. So go read that one first. I'll wait.

Great. So you came back. What Ray's post taught us all is this: We are all now qualified to be on television based on our elementary school thespian skills. Since Jennifer Garner is qualified to discuss tornadoes since she played a tornado probably before she could spell it properly, this means I am now available for any and all discussions on agriculture and leporine matters because I was a carrot -- a singing one, mind you -- in the College Gardens Elementary School production of "Peter Rabbit."

My phone hasn't rung yet.

The idea of "Weather Moments," I think, is what brought my cold on. Actually, now that I think about it, my life right now at this second is a weather moment. Without weather, I would not have this cold. And I'm qualified to be an expert! Folks, a twofer, right here!

Isn't everything really a "Weather Moment?" Is that meant to be the secret genius behind this new show?

My real point is this -- quit it, cable networks, just quit it. Nobody goes to The Weather Channel for actual programming. I know this is a hard realization for those who've recently been hired to develop a slate for TWC (as no doubt it will insist on doing just after getting a mild "hit" and the execs hire a branding crew), but that's not what people go to The Weather Channel for. They might come for some weather porn, and they might vaguely want to know how a city not their own could have the snot knocked out of it by an unexpected Category 900 storm, but basically -- not. Here's why they go to The Weather Channel. I hope you're taking notes.

They go to find out the weather.

And maybe the tides. Maybe the sunset.

That's it. There's a reason Time Warner Cable in New York uses your channel to update viewers when other channels will be offering free programming or going off the air.

Going to The Weather Channel for anything other than the weather is like going to the grocery store to buy your Hi-Def TV. I know you can do that in some of the gigantic big box behemoths that threaten to take over the world, but it's wrong there and it's wrong here.

And for those of you snickering in the corner -- I see you there, VH1 and Court TV -- don't think you're immune. You've both been disappointing in your own ways, since VH1 stuffed itself for a full week with "America's Next Top Model" reruns and Court TV now shows reruns of the one failed "Law & Order" series. You're on the edge, buddies, and don't make me come over there.

As I've said before, we don't need more broadcast networks. As in, broad casting. Narrowcasting works just fine for me. And if you've gone and called yourself after what you're trying to narrowcast -- like, say, the weather -- you're doubly stuck. Leave it alone, and invest in better Doppler equipment.

Do what you do well, cable networks, and quit messing with the program. Or you're going to find your audience gets its weather, and other crucial information, from another source.

The Internet.

--Randee Dawn

(image thanks to the brilliant Toothpaste for Dinner)

Why The Simpsons Should Never Be Animated By Anyone Other Than Matt Groening

You know 'em, you love 'em -- The Simpsons.

Now, re-think them as Japanese Anime.

Beautifully, if creepily, done. (I think the rendering of Krusty has re-ignited all of my clown nightmares from childhood.) I do rather like the idea of a punked-out Lisa, though.

Check out the larger version here. Marvelous.

-- Randee Dawn

Run For Your Lives -- To the Museum!

You know that old saw, where your mom would see you throwing pennies off of a skyscraper and tell you not to do it, and you'd say, well, everybody does it, and she'd say, well, if everyone jumped off of this building, would you? And then you'd be stymied because you weren't ready to confess you'd harbored suicidal thoughts?

We've all had those moments.

The point is this: According to American Museum of Natural History officials, the Ben Stiller film "Night at the Museum" helped jack up attendance at the museum (which was featured in the film) by 20 percent over the holiday season.

The official noted that between Dec. 22 and Jan. 2 -- a time span which coincided with the movie's release -- they increased attendance from the year before by more than 50,0000. Thus far, "Night" has earned over $137 million.

I remember someone snarkily commenting that no wonder the family film was such a hit over the holidays, because of course it's easier to take your kids to a movie about museums than to the actual museums themselves.

Evidently, it's possible to do both.

So the moral of this story is: If Hollywood says you should do it, apparently everyone believes you should. Let's hope Hollywood doesn't get into the pennies-off-of-skyscrapers business, though.

--Randee Dawn

Leave It to Beaver

I know what you’re thinking.

You’re thinking, “Is that Sean Penn in drag as Olivia Newton-John?”

Yes.

Except, he’s not playing himself. This is not some sort of outtake from his bachelor party before getting hitched to Madonna. This is Sean Penn approximately a year before 1982’s “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” made him a phenomenon (though those of us who loved 1981’s “Taps” already knew what a punch he packed). It is Sean Penn playing the role of a lovable, if ONJ-obsessed real person, who was videotaped by filmmaker Trent Harris in the late 1970s. It is a scene from Harris’s film (if one can really call it that), “The Beaver Trilogy.”

I first learned about this unique production a few weeks ago -- admittedly, a little later than a lot of industry folks, since the film screened at Sundance in 2001. I heard about it not by watching, but by listening to a loving description of the film on NPR's "This American Life" show, where the reporter chronicled the project with a near frame-by-frame description. And then things got really interesting -- because between segments of film description, she also went into what was going on behind the scenes.

What is this film? It’s basically the same story, told three times –- once as non-fiction when Harris stumbled on his subject, then twice fictionally -- casting a young Sean Penn, and then a young Crispin Glover in the lead roles. Where does the wig come in? Harris's subject arranged a talent show ... with himself going on stage as ONJ and singing. He called the the filmmaker back to capture the moment. The rest is history.

Unfortunately, the film has no distribution (Strand Releasing had the rights at one point, but no more), which is where YouTube has to step in. It is now possible to find "The Beaver Trilogy" there in a series of clips. But as mere clips, the film doesn't make much sense. Like ice cream and hot fudge, the film really needs the "This American Life" show to put it into context.

So watch it and listen to it -- you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll buy the greatest hits of Olivia Newton-John. If for nothing else, watch it for the drag scenes. You’ll be a better person for it.

--Randee Dawn

Great Moments In Cable Programming

The Hollywood Reporter's reporters are like doctors: Always on call, always aware. They do it for you.

This weekend, one of our intrepid staff was viewing Comedy Central, and came across a screening of "Airplane!" the 1980 comedy about hijinks, jive talk and gladiator jokes. It also included this exchange:

MCrosky: All right Kolosomo, you work the relay, Roberts, check all air traffic within five miles,  get that finger out of your ear, you don't know where that finger's been -- Got a cigarette Nels?  Your husband and the others are alive, but unconscious.

Johnny: Just like Gerald Ford.

Reached today, however, Comedy Central reps deny that the airing of the film was any kind of tribute to the recently-deceased former President: "It was just a coincidence!"

Surely you jest.

--Randee Dawn

Auld Lang Who?

For some it's been a year of joy (or renewal of joy), for some a year of shame and embarrassment, for some a year of immense hype, for some a year of not-so-near misses, and for most of the rest of us it falls somewhere in between.

Just be thankful that wherever you're celebrating they're not blowing things up, or cancelling major celebrations due to bad weather, or worse.

(My friend Lynda just called from Edinburgh, where they tossed out the traditional Hogmanay celebrations due to gusty winds; she noted that the advantage of being in Greenwich Mean Time was that 2006 ended 5 hours earlier.)

But wherever you are, Past Deadline wishes you a happy, healthy New Year and a hilarious, snarky, astounding, incomprehensible, blog-post-filled 2007.

It's the least we can do.

--Randee Dawn

(artwork via BoingBoing, by Kate Kretz)

It's All A Matter of Taste

How very nice of them.

Because aren't we all a little sickened by the crass, tasteless way executions are usually shown on TV?

Oh, wait, they aren't.

And with luck, this one won't be aired, either. Yesterday, I sat next to the TV reporter who covered this story, Paul Gough, and overheard him chasing down the network folks who might happen to be working this week to get some kind of commentary. (Somehow, during the weeks that should be the least busy, some of the most desperate news comes to light.) This is Paul's beat –- covering the way the news covers stories, as opposed to covering the stories themselves –- and he does a ripping job getting folks to talk. 

What he managed to pull out is that ABC and CBS have no plans to air videotape of Saddam Hussein's execution, while NBC, CNN and Fox are still in a wait-and-see attitude. Al-Jazeera did not return calls, but according to Paul's story, the channel has never shown an execution, either. 

Paul told me that since the Iraq war, the question of how to tastefully report on the more graphic side of the news has come up frequently. "Even in the Saddam Hussein trial there were pictures of victims who were gassed or shot that couldn't really be broadcast on American television," he said. Once his article came out yesterday, Paul was reminded by an email sent to of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the Al-Qaeda leader who was killed in an air strike this past June. Pictures of the dead al-Zarqawi, and separately Uday and Qusay Hussein, turned up for broadcast, and there was discussion about how to air them (or not) at the time. More infamous are the tapes of beheaded Americans Nicholas Berg and Daniel Pearl. The latter two are available for viewing in full –- links to sites that host the tapes pop up a the top of a simple Google search. 

"These are decisions they make all the time," Paul said. "They have the tapes –- I talked to someone who was walking by (a tape machine) at the networks (while the video was playing) and saw it and still doesn't feel good about it." 

Regardless of network decisions, there's little doubt that Hussein's execution, like Berg and Pearl's, will eventually make it onto the Internet. All of us –- all of us People of the Year –- will make sure that's possible, even if they don't turn up on YouTube or Google Video. 

Whether that's fitting on not requires more subtle consideration. I don't personally want to support any network –- cable or broadcast -– that will air an execution, live or taped. No matter how wretchedly horrible that individual was, to air it somehow allies us with him. And watching it, or being in charge of airing it, won't make any of us feel like we're somehow more civilized, that's for certain. 

That said, I'm not certain I mind if the tape turns up in some repository in the common brain. The Internet has many dark corners and closeted histories, as do individuals and cultures. To fail to allow a place for them to exist denies not just our humanity, but our willingness to acknowledge that we do have a lesser, baser nature –- every one of us. Information exists, it's how we deal with it that matters. Shutting it up doesn't make it go away. 

We're all people of the year, according to Time –- and this includes Saddam Hussein, who for all we know downloaded a BitTorrent or two before his capture. That there is discussion over what to air, if to air anything, is healthy. Paul says he's sure that the question isn't about ratings points -– "the networks' job is to show what happened in the news. There's always healthy debates about taste issues, and networks have standards and practices they have to follow." 

At least, that's a start. If ad dollars aren't a driving factor when the news is this bleakly graphic, then perhaps the news programs can still hold at least a jagged edge of the moral high ground. The schadenfreude we may experience from knowing that Saddam Hussein is no longer on the planet is not something that should be quantified in ratings points.

-- Randee Dawn

Swag Alert: Spread a little "Sunshine"

The mail here is a little slow this week. So this (on the left) just arrived.

Best. Holiday. Card. Ever.

Now, we all know Fox Searchlight doesn't really hate the holidays; this is just Exhibit 738b in the "Please vote for 'Little Miss Sunshine'" Oscar campaign, but we love, love, love their approach. Even if they are hatin' on the holidays.

Having this card up on my shelf has already caused more than one person to do a double-take.

(It's funnier if you've seen the movie. Trust me.)

Still, nothing is quite as much fun as Exhibit 315a in the "LMS" Oscar campaign: The die-cast replica bus (below), which has been up on the shelf for weeks now.

It has a body in the back seat. Seriously. I haven't yet unwrapped it to see if it looks like Alan Arkin, but I'm going to wager that answer would be yes.

Can we have an Oscar category for Best Performance By Schtuff?

-- Randee Dawn

James Brown's last night at the Apollo

Even in death, James Brown is still able to command people to hold his cape.

Metaphorically speaking, of course. Thanks to the efforts of his friend, Rev. Al Sharpton, Brown will be taking the stage at The Apollo Theater one last time this afternoon, lying in a very soulful state of repose between 1 and 8 p.m. for his public wake. Hours ahead of time, fans and mourners alike had already begun lining up outside the historic theater, where Brown made his debut in 1956.

But as is somewhat typical of Brown’s tumultuous history, getting him to the theater was not easy: For various reasons, flying was out –- which meant Sharpton had to take Brown on the road from Georgia to New York in record time, and they left on Wednesday at 9 in the evening.

As Sharpton told the Associated Press:

"He was a superstar for common people, and I wanted to make sure that common people got to see him one last time…. We're determined to make sure he makes the Apollo. He never missed the Apollo. If we ride all night, that's fine."

As has already been announced, Spike Lee is going to make a Brown biopic. I can already imagine just where this particular scene is going to fit; all by itself it feels like an indie movie.

Now, I need to figure out how I can skip out early today….

-- Randee Dawn

An Extremely Long Engagement (Of Sorts)

Weddings and celebrities just don’t seem to mix. Oh, they do for a while: It’s all Italian castles and security blackouts and lots of tulle and botoxed faces. But 2006 was not a good year for most celebrity marriages -- from Charlie and Denise to Jessica and Nick to Britney and Kevin, breaking up was far from hard to do.

So since I’m still feeling sated from the Entenmann’s Holiday Log I consumed over the long weekend, and I'm in a sweeter mood than is usual for a Tuesday, I’d like to comment on the one wedding this year that actually had me getting all teary-eyed (and that includes some of the weddings of my relatives).

I read about it in the New York Times’ expanded “Vows” section over the weekend. (There's a news story about it here, too.) It appears that, some 34 years after originally meeting, former “Taxi” star Marilu Henner wed merchant seaman-turned-businessman Michael Brown. And the story of how they got from being fellow students at the University of Chicago to Dec. 21, when they exchanged vows, is nothing short of extraordinary.

If it were a Lifetime movie I wouldn’t believe it.

Marilu had a crush on Michael in college, but he was dating her friend and -– even after their breakup, the old rule about not dating your friends’ exes held, and they went their separate ways: He to the sea, she to Broadway. When they next met, he was married and she was on the way to getting married. Another miss. He divorced, she divorced –- and remarried again. Kids came on both sides. But in early 2001, they were both single again, and managed to reconnect. Marilu had become something of a health expert (she currently runs Marilu.com, home of a “total health makeover” which works just great for her), and Brown was publishing wall calendars and the like with his twin brother. They met, and a week later it was love. At last.

But as in a Lifetime movie, it just wasn’t going to be that easy. So go read the rest for yourself. It’s a triumph-over-30-odd-years and a triumph-over-adversity story that could make a stone weep.

Congrats, Mr. and Mrs. Brown. Marriage may not be for everybody -– but it’s nice to know it’s still a good fit for some.

-- Randee Dawn

It's a Scrubs-a-licious Christmas, Charlie Brown

Tired of watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas" over and over again? Think you might just plant your face in the fruitcake if someone turns it on yet again?

Well, you ain't heard nothing yet. According to the "TV Squad" blog, this rendering of "ACBC" was done for a Christmas party a few years ago. The voices are, apparently, from the cast of NBC's "Scrubs." And a warning: Though nobody's probably at work, it's NSFW in terms of language.

Enjoy, and watch where your friends are hanging their tinsel.

--Randee Dawn

Good Swill Hunting

It seems that yesterday, Gus Van Sant got a slightly early start on the egg nog and ended up busted for drunk driving in Portland, Oregon (where his latest film, "Paranoid Park," is filming. The Smoking Gun has all the details (like, say, he registered twice the state's legal limit for drunkenness), but in the spirit of the new year upcoming and the holiday season that has just about landed upon us with its big, heavy, bowl-full-of-jelly belly, we'd like to put a positive spin on things.

To wit:

1) Mr. Van Sant, although clearly unhappy with the state of things, has outdone Nick Nolte in the mug shot acting category, and when are we ever going to be able to say that again?

2) Although disoriented, he was not found to be heading into a vast wasteland of desert without any food or water. (And if you get that reference, you truly are a Van Sant fan.)

3) Most importantly, he blamed none of this on the Jews. And what better Christmas present can we hope for than that?

A toast, then, to Gus Van Sant. May you post bail before the sleigh bells jangle out of sight.

--Randee Dawn

First life in Second Life for Sundance

It’s an odd thing, trying to explain “Second Life.”

For those who haven’t checked it out, I like to call it a three-dimensional Web page experience. Part Sims, part MMORPG (minus the “game” element), Second Life allows you to visit “land” (as opposed to a Web page) owned by individuals or corporations, interact directly with those visiting the land, watch streaming video and hear streaming audio live (or recorded) – and hundreds of other options. All you have to do is download the (free) software, create an avatar for yourself, and you’re in. (You don’t have to spend a penny.)

The Sundance Channel has been hip to Second Life (SL) since early December, when it started up its own SL blog — on which it announced the channel would be opening its own digs this January, in time to host a virtual version of the Park City Sundance Film Festival. The premiere of “Four-Eyed Monsters” will also be held in SL, with a discussion with the filmmakers (live but in avatar form) after the event. (Date still to be announced, but if you're registered and signed on with SL, this link can help take you to the "Four-Eyed Monsters" location..)

Though nothing can match the sensation of actually being at the Sundance Film Festival, most of us never get to go. (That would include me.) With SL, anyone will be able to wander the virtual Sundance, check out screenings in the special screening rooms (some of which will be private), or even soak in a hot tub. (How appropriate.) Other advantages: A lot less chapstick will be required.

The island (yes, although Sundance takes place in Utah’s Park City, the virtual one is surrounded by water) is still being worked on, so more news will emerge in the ensuing weeks. (You can check some of it out in a raw, in-process state by going to Sheep Island in SL, then heading northeast of there to the Sundance Island, which is how I found the auditorium above.)  In the meantime, anyone who plans on visiting Virtual Sundance in January would do well to download the software now and give the place a try. The learning curve is probably about a half hour, but it’s worth the effort.

See you there! Sort of.

-- Randee Dawn

Vachon gets ticked at "Time"

She doesn't speak up often, but when she does, Christine Vachon usually has something to say.

In yesterday's Columbia Journalism Review daily, the veteran New York producer, writer and Killer Films partner took "Time" magazine's "Person of the Year" (for those who don't know who it was, let's just say you're included) choice to task:

"(S)ince September 11, the award has increasingly forfeited its pledge to pick subjects 'for good or ill' in favor patriotic icons (2001, Rudolph Giuliani; 2003, The American Soldier; 2004, George W. Bush) and filibusters (2002, The Whistleblowers; 2005, Bono, Melinda and Bill Gates).

One need not be an insider to know that when Time editors gathered this fall to brainstorm for candidates, the most qualified options were hardly 'good news' stories -- Iraq, anyone? (Oh, right, too obvious.) ...

Instead of living up to the high mandate of its own editorial policy, Time responded with a non-choice, awarding the Person of the Year to an abstraction. By giving the award to 'You,' it effectively gave the award to no one. In doing so, it has insulted its readers with the assumption that they are too vain and gullible to know the difference."

Hear, hear. As someone who uses the Internet with freakish frequency, I'm all about supporting the amusing, informative global brain network. Yet even I find it hard to believe that there wasn't a better, more specific — if not upbeat, choice. It makes it seem that we're all sitting here in the U.S. staring at our virtual bellybuttons while Rome burns. (How's that for a mixed metaphor?)

Of course, I wasn't asked. It's not our magazine.

Amusing Addendum: Vachon isn't the only one with sour grapes over "Time's" choice. As Daniel Radosh notes, Chrysler's "Person of the Year" tie-in Flash ad must have gone over like the proverbial metallic balloon. Check Radosh's thoughts out here.

-- Randee Dawn

Chocopocalypse Now

There are many people who went to see Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto" over the weekend. Enough to earn the film over $14 million and make it the No. 1 picture in the nation.

I was not one of them.

I would, however, be convinced to see the trailer, "Hot Chocolypto," which was inspired by the "Apocalypto" trailer. I would, in fact, watch a whole movie called "Hot Chocolypto." I would insist, however, that the soundtrack include the song, "You Sexy Thing."

And I would also insist on watching it with befogged glasses.

As Rob at Attifood notes:

When I saw the teaser trailer to Mel Gibson's Apocalypto, I was captivated by the imagery and sound. I knew two -- no, three things -- I wanted to see the movie, I wanted to make a cooking show in the style of that trailer, and I knew right away the perfect recipe to go with it -- Hot Chocolate.

Never let it be said that Past Deadline is not a full-service blog.

(Link via Boing Boing)

-- Randee Dawn

News Flash: Happy Birthday to Me

Yesterday was Kirk Douglas' 90th birthday -- and how did he spend it? No, not strapping on his chain-mail slave gear from "Spartacus" -- although reports are sketchy on the leather undies -- no, he did what any solid, upstanding Hollywood icon who still has most of his marbles left should do.

He issued a press release. And not just any old press release, either. To wit:

My name is Kirk Douglas.  You may know me.  If you don't ... Google me.  I was a movie star and I'm Michael Douglas's dad, Catherine Zeta-Jones' father-in-law, and the grandparents of their two children.  Today I celebrate my 90th birthday.

I have a message to convey to America's young people.  A 90th birthday is special.  In my case, this birthday is not only special but miraculous.  I survived World War II, a helicopter crash, a stroke, and two new knees.

It's a tradition that when a "birthday boy" stands over his cake he makes a silent wish for his life and then blows out the candles.  I have followed that tradition for 89 years but on my 90th birthday, I have decided to rebel. Instead of making a silent wish for myself, I want to make a LOUD wish for THE WORLD.

Let's face it: THE WORLD IS IN A MESS and you are inheriting it. Generation Y, you are on the cusp.  You are the group facing many problems: abject poverty, global warming, genocide, AIDS, and suicide bombers to name a few.  These problems exist, and the world is silent.  We have done very little to solve these problems.  Now, we leave it to you.  You have to fix it because the situation is intolerable.

You need to rebel, to speak up, write, vote, and care about people and the world you live in.  We live in the best country in the world.  I know.  My parents were Russian immigrants.  America is a country where EVERYONE, regardless of race, creed, or age has a chance.  I had that chance.  You are the generation that is most impacted and the generation that can make a difference.

I love this country because I came from a life of poverty.  I was able to work my way through college and go into acting, the field that I love.  There is no guarantee in this country that you will be successful.  But you always have a chance.  Nothing should interfere with it.  You have to make sure that nothing stands in the way.

When I blow out my candles -- 90! ... it will take a long time ... but I'll be thinking of you.

Other than his assertion that he's both grandparents of the Douglas/Zeta-Jones union, that's worth a hearty thumbs-up. (And big brownie points for properly using "Google" in a sentence.) Douglas has been giving us reasons to cheer for decades now, and even as he's aged he's proved uniquely talented at providing the surprises (recall how he had a second bar mitzvah at age 83?). We should all be so on top of things, and worried about the state of the world, at 90. Happy birthday, Issur Danielovitch Demsky. May you and that cleft chin go on to issue many more press releases in the future.

-- Randee Dawn

What's my line?

It's true: I've become addicted to most of the "C.S.I." shows. Gil Grissom of Las Vegas is one of TV's best characters, and the women who routinely seem to be running the Miami bureau kick some major butt.

(New York I have to still pass on; despite my admiration and adoration for Gary Sinise, it went head to head with my first loyalty, "Law & Order," which has had to move neighborhoods from its long-held spot on Wednesday. I hold grudges.)

But "CSI: Miami" is, in addition to being a good show, unintentionally hilarious. David Caruso's melodramatic, intense portrayal of Lt. Horatio Caine (a character name that tells you all you need to know in two words) keeps me giggling. On the one hand, I want to see where he's going in every episode -- how yet again he will come to grief and unhappiness despite having looks that are the complete opposite of dour and living in a sunny paradise. Then on the other hand, he keeps delivering his lines with a Shakespearian gravitas that just don't usually warrant it. (I'm dying for "Saturday Night Live" to do a Lt. Caine cleans his kitchen skit, just so we can hear that delivery in lines like "The Mr. Clean is empty. I will now have to switch to Formula 409.")

It may be that the director, and the actor, are going for something along the lines of what the late Jerry Orbach did with Lennie Briscoe in "Law & Order" -- bring a dark humor to something that seems almost impossible to joke about. Except it's the humor that's missing here: Caine will see clothes littered on the street and note that you don't spend $1,000 on clothes you're never going to wear.

Okay, then.

The good news is I'm not the only one getting a few laughs out of a CSI show: A genius over at YouTube agrees, and has compiled about 7 minutes of these lines -- punctuated, appropriately, with a Roger Daltrey scream of epic proportions. The picture link should take you there. If not, click here, sit back, and enjoy.

--Randee Dawn

Act 1, Scene 1: 5 Screenwriters, 1 Reporter. The Place: New York. The Time: Today.