Past Deadline

A Little Script In Your Reality Show, My Dear?

Leanna seems like a lovely 20-year old woman. She's also one who, having decided that she has 10 pounds to lose, applied to appear in a reality show called "The Last 10 Pounds Bootcamp."

She's also decided to blog the experience. Suffice it to say, the "reality" of this weight loss show is about as loose as those extra 10.

(The producer) wanted to get shots of me eating potato chips and drinking pop for breakfast. Which again, is not something I do. I was pretty angry at that point and ranted at him for a while until he agreed that it wasn't a good idea (hah). I told him that I did not want to be portrayed as some overindulgent-only eats fast food, type of person. I am far from that, I'm practically obsessed with what I eat. My weight issue is due to wrong choices here and there, not constantly. I will eat well for a week then..er.. "accidentally" eat a whole pizza. But I have too much pride to be portrayed in such a negative way....

They had a table filled with the food I supposedly ate in my food diary.
(I don't recall eating a big plate of Mcdonalds fries?!) So they did the whole "You eat this much sugar! *hands bucket of sugar*", and I had to act disgusted with what I ate.

Then one of the producers had to take me away for coffee while they set up another surprise!! OMG! I had a little chat with her on the way and she apologized for how exaggerated it was, but it does make sense that it is in fact, entertainment.

They only started filming on February 9, by the way. Frankly, I'm a little stunned that nobody made her sign an agreement not to blog.

Now, the notion that reality shows fake some of their scripts is hardly going to cause a scandal. Most of the situations are, of course, artificially constructed. But the idea that from day one scenes are virtually constructed from whole cloth makes it just another dumb program, with no basis in reality -- and no watchability.

And for those wondering, the "Last 10" is actually a Canadian series. I'm quite certain no American reality show would ever consider pushing the envelope so far off the table that it falls into a ravine like these producers have. Right? Right?

--Randee Dawn

Helpful Site Alert! How To Watch Oscar Films Whenever You Like

We here at Past Deadline like to help. We all know you're busy folk out there, unable to wait for your Oscar screeners to land in your mailbox or on your desk, and gosh, there are so many to see -- wouldn't it be swell if you could just download the little buggers whenever you had the time, and watch them as you can fit them into your busy, busy schedule? (Because we all know that Art Direction is best viewed on a small computer screen, anyway.)

Well, ask yourself that question no more. A lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of risk-taking has gone into Oscartorrents.com, which now has every single Oscar-nominated film available for you to download. Free. In a BitTorrent format. Well, at least links to the films.

Legal? Not on your pirate hat, Charlie. But don't fret too much: The Oscartorrents folks (who're also known as the League of Noble Peers and are behind "Steal This Film") are here to reassure you:

To those worried about downloading in case they get sued: by our calculations, your chances of getting nailed are way less than your chances of winning the lottery. Don't think twice about it.

To all intellectual property landlords: we are aware that OscarTorrents might annoy you -- but contain your righteous indignation for a while, and think: we're only linking to torrents that already exist. Face it: your membrane has burst, and it wasn't us who burst it. Your precious bodily fluids are escaping.

You haven't beaten us, so why not join us? Think of a new business model that doesn't involve overpriced pieces of plastic and skanky cinemas hawking cheap carbohydrates while relying on $6/hr projectionists who can't keep a film in focus -- not to mention insulting your audiences by (to pick a few examples) surveilling us with nightvision glasses, searching bags, 30 minutes of commercials and bombarding us with ridiculous anti-piracy propaganda. Take a look at yourselves. Is it really any wonder we're winning?

I'm starting the countdown to see how long this site remains online ... now.

-- Randee Dawn

A Little Princess?

File this one under Chuck Shepherd's News of the Weird sub-category of "Can't Possibly Be True":

"The husband of actress Zsa Zsa Gabor said Friday that he had a decade-long affair with Anna Nicole Smith and may be her infant daughter's father.

The claim by Prince Frederick von Anhalt comes amid a paternity suit over Smith's 5-month-old daughter, Dannielynn. The birth certificate lists Dannielynn's father as attorney Howard K. Stern [pictured with Smith], but former Smith boyfriend Larry Birkhead is waging a legal challenge, saying he is the father."

More here.

--Randee Dawn

Shocking Obit: Anna Nicole Smith Dies

How very sad. Details are still emerging, but it appears that Anna Nicole Smith has died.

She led a very vibrant life, to say the least, as a Playboy pinup, wife of a tycoon, reality show star and Trim Spa spokesperson. It was easy to poke fun at her for any of a dozen reasons, but I have to say I always rather liked that someone who played (or was) the classic modern dumb blonde managed to get her case taken to the Supreme Court. And she won.

Details remain sketchy, though they won't likely for long; all we know at this point is that she was found unconscious this afternoon at her hotel room at the Hard Rock Cafe in Hollywood, Florida. The former Vickie Lynn Hogan (married name: Marshall) would have been 40 in November.

-- Randee Dawn

Well Drawn: Internet Artist Scores Gig

Remember this? The "Simpsonzu" we blogged about on Jan. 8?

Well, we weren't the only ones, but witness the power of the Internet: The artist, Nina Matsumoto (aka *spacecoyote on deviantART, where she posts some of her work), has been noticed thanks to the wide circulation of the piece. She's even gotten a job....

With Matt Groening, "The Simpsons" creator.

Turns out he's also the publisher of Bongo Comics, and that company offered her work. According to a brief update on deviantART, Matsumoto will be doing pencil work for a short Manga version of "The Simpsons," and may also be working with 20th Century Fox on the relaunch of "Futurama."

She's already got a big head start on "Futurama," should she end up there — after all, she created this piece of art, too.

Not a bad turnout for a piece of work that she says (on the deviantART site) she would have done a better job on "if I knew this piece would receive so much attention.... This was originally drawn with the intention of scaring my friends."

-- Randee Dawn

Pirates of the Canadian — Maybe Not So Much

An update to the recent unpleasantness that was uncovered when it was announced by the MPAA that the root of all piracy evil was located in -- Canada.

Michael Geist, who writes a syndicated weekly column called "Law Bites," is taking exception. Not just with the facts presented, but with the methodology of the numbers behind the so-called facts -- and the overall effects of piracy on the industry as a whole.

Says Geist:

Over the past two weeks, reports have pegged the Canadian percentage of global camcording at either forty or fifty percent.  Yet the International Intellectual Property Alliance, a U.S. lobby group that includes the MPAA, advised the U.S. government in late September that Canadians were the source for 23 percent of camcorded copies of DVDs. 

Not surprisingly, none of these figures have been subject to independent audit or review.  In fact, AT&T Labs, which conducted the last major public study on movie piracy in 2003, concluded that 77 percent of pirated movies actually originate from industry insiders and advance screener copies provided to movie reviewers.

Moreover, the industry's numbers indicate that camcorded versions of DVDs strike only a fraction of the movies that are released each year.  As of August 2006, the MPAA documented 179 camcorded movies as the source for infringing DVDs since 2004.  During that time, its members released approximately 1400 movies, suggesting that approximately one in every ten movies is camcorded and sold as infringing DVDs.  According to this data, Canadian sources are therefore responsible for camcorded DVD versions of about three percent of all MPAA member movies.

Lots more good stuff here.

-- Randee Dawn

Must Explode TV! The Reckoning

It all works out in the end. And really, for just the cost of getting an omelet of egg on their faces, and becoming the butt of any number of Lite-Brite jokes, it should work out that Boston will make money off of its recent screaming panic over the appearance of Mooninite figures around town that were actually meant to be an ad for Cartoon Network's "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" (at left, with said scary green character photoshopped in).

News sources are reporting that a settlement is going down over the incident; Turner Broadcasting (which owns Cartoon Network) and the marketing company that created the devices, Interference, Inc. are expected to pay out $2 million, half of which will go to the city agencies that were ordered by officials to treat the ads as if they were bombs, while the other half will go to homeland security and other related agencies.

Meanwhile, according to Boston Mayor Thomas Menino, the whole episode cost the city a mere $500,000.

So, a memo to city officials elsewhere: If you're fine with looking like Henny Penny, rather than carefully and quietly investigating homeland security related matters, you too can get corporations to cough up a bundle. It may cost you the mental security and well-being of your citizens, but eh. A few suggestions:

New York: Times Square advertising is overwhelming. Something must be suspicious. The Cup O'Noodles is smoking, for crying out loud!

Seattle: Is that really all fish you're scenting at the fish market? Perhaps Microsoft planted a few chips in the shrimp? You should check that out.

Los Angeles: The whole town is covered in a brownish scrim. Smog, some say -- I say go after the car manufacturers! That is a public safety issue! The terrorists could be hiding in the troposphere!

Washington, D.C.: Has anyone checked the Capitol cupola recently? Who painted it? Can we go after Sherman-Williams?

Who needs taxes? Hurrah, Mayor Menino, you've pocketed a cool half-million in less than a week for your city. I'm sure it will go to all the right places.

Meanwhile, Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens, who were arrested in connection with the panic, are still waiting on a resolution. According to the CNN article linked above:

The attorney general's office also has begun discussions with the attorneys of two men charged in the incident.

Peter Berdovsky, 27, and Sean Stevens, 28, were arrested Wednesday after the panic settled down. Both pleaded not guilty Thursday to placing a hoax device and disorderly conduct.

Coakley said the discussions with the pair's attorneys should result in a "resolution to the criminal charges" against them.

Wonder if they can squeeze out a couple thousand more ... you know, for the city.

--Randee Dawn

Must Explode TV! Part 2

So. Not a box. Or a "package." Or particularly suspicious-looking. This looks like a Lite-Brite project, and it does not look like anything that could be remotely considered bomb-like. Do bombs require C batteries?

But then again, I don't work for the Boston police force.

This is what the "boxes" that all but shut down Boston yesterday, but failed to ignite anything in Seattle, where they were located and simply removed, looked like. According to the Seattle Times:

When news of events in Boston began to be reported Wednesday, he said, the Seattle Police Department called and passed on the information about the locations of other devices.

McSwain and other officers removed three more of the devices from various locations, including an awning at a business, in a mini-mall and in front of another business.

The appearance of the devices indicated they weren't too sinister, with one officer describing them as a battery, a light and a cartoon character making an obscene gesture, McSwain said.

Three devices also were found in Bothell, police reported. Officers acting on information from the Seattle Police Department removed the devices and knew the devices were not a threat.

Seattle police also found several of the devices in the city but declined to reveal their location or how many there were.

Authorities said some of the objects looked like circuit boards or had wires hanging from them.

In other words, they acted sanely. Maybe they have a few younger members on the force, who have actually seen the show.

Still, the real show came this afternoon from the two guys arrested for the Boston incident, Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens, who held a press conference to discuss the grave importance of what they've done -- er, rather, retro hairstyles. You can watch the video here.

As noted in an addendum to the article next to the video:

In the clip above, the two gentlemen responsible for the placement of the lightboxes have some fun with the media frenzy, discussing various hairstyles of the 60s and 70s. The press accuses of them of not taking it seriously but, in a sense, they're taking it just as seriously as they ought to.

Emphasis mine.

Exactly.

-- Randee Dawn

Must Explode TV!

Well, it's not a show that's actually on Cartoon Network, but after today it could be. (Yes, we've doctored the picture.)

It is true that cartoons exist in an alternate universe, but the marketing and promotional ideas that promote them are firmly fixed in this reality -- which apparently was forgotten by the folks at Cartoon Network and Turner Broadcasting, and specifically one twentysomething marketer. (Who we suspect, once he's out of jail, will need to find more work.)

It appears that as part of a plan to promote Adult Swim's "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," somewhere between 15-30 boxes were planted around Boston. (The campaign was also targeted at other major cities like Los Angeles, Seattle, New York and Portland.) But stray boxes with wires popping out of them these days seem less like a reason for curiosity and more like a possibility of something going all "24" on us at any moment.

In any case, once someone spotted a box near a major highway (hello? what kind of ad placement is that?) the bomb squad was called out, and they blew it up. Subsequent boxes were found all over the city, causing shutdowns, slowdowns, and a very busy day for the suspicious package crew.

TBS said in a statement, "The 'packages' in question are magnetic lights that pose no danger. We regret that they were mistakenly thought to pose any danger."

According to this report, the packages had been in place for two to three weeks. Weeks? So why has someone only just noticed in Boston?

Tonight an arrest was made of a 27-year old man from the Boston suburb of Arlington, and he's been charged with a felony -- and the Massachusetts attorney general has said he's considering charges against TBS, according to Fox News in New York.

There is the old saying that all publicity is good publicity, but I think we can make an exception in this case. So, note to all marketers: If your publicity campaign ends up calling out the bomb squad, then there's a good chance there really is a bomb there ... in your marketing strategy.

-- Randee Dawn

UPDATE: Gee, whiz, apparently I'm slow. The geniuses at Boing Boing are of course all over this and have targeted not only some very questionable journalistic ethics (the LED in the packages featured a Mooninite with an upraised finger which several media outlets are apparently photoshopping out. Plus, it's already possible to buy the LED Mooninite figure (yes, you'll have to watch the show and tell me just what the importance is on "Aqua Teen Hunger Force") on a T-shirt at  Raplica.com.

And he hasn't been photoshopped. I sense the conversation on this is just getting started.

Losing the Genius In a Bottle

Though it may seem hard to believe from the creator of "I Dream of Jeannie," strong, empowered -- and naturally beautiful -- women all over the world have lost a champion in Sidney Sheldon, who died yesterday at 89. (AP obit here.)

Who doesn't remember staying up until dawn to finish "The Other Side of Midnight" or dragging "Nothing Lasts Forever" to the beach? Sheldon wrote classic, pulpy plots that virtually toppled over with improbable romance and intrigue, yet usually featured women who -- after some considerable time getting the short end of the stick -- stood up for themselves and just wouldn't take it any more.

But Sheldon wasn't just an author who dictated 50-some pages a day (then went over revisions the next); as mentioned earlier, he created "I Dream of Jeannie" and "Hart to Hart" and won an Oscar for his screenplay for Cary Grant's "The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer" in 1947; he was a WWII army pilot and once had three musicals on Broadway. It seems hard to imagine anyone else with the breadth of interest and talent he had to ever make as many marks in as many areas of Hollywood as Sheldon did -- or that anyone else will ever come along to rival his prolific pen.

It takes all kinds in this industry: We should only hope there are a few more like Sidney Sheldon. Here's hoping the other side of his midnight is full of beautiful, brainy women and TV shows that never get canceled.

-- Randee Dawn