Holy Pontiff! Fleiss Plays Nice To Lure Bachelor Benedict

Say this for "The Bachelor" creator-exec producer Mike Fleiss: when he goes fishing, he isn't content to land cod and salmon -- it's a marlin or nothing. Fleiss -- the cousin of onetime Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss -- has actually floated a special request to the Vatican seeking a guest appearance on his show from Pope Benedict XVI. This is where we'd usually insert a punchline, expect this ain't no joke. At least not in the conventional sense.

Fleiss told that bastion of Papal information, the New York Post, that he's floated a special plea to Vatican officials to have the Pope bless the ABC series with his holy presence since the show's current bachelor, 34-year-old Prince Lorenzo Borghese, has a Pope and a cardinal in his Italian family tree dating back to the 1600s. So Fleiss evidently envisions the Pontiff himself appearing to pray with Borghese for guidance before he hands out his final rose.

"Wouldn't it be cool?" Fleiss asked.

Yes, that's what it would be -- cool. Not as cool, however, as the Pope actually getting commissioned to be the bachelor himself. I can already see the logline for the finale: "What lucky girl will get the final blessing?"

The fact that the Vatican has yet to respond to the bizarre request -- hard to believe, considering all of the free time His Holiness must have while working to save a war-torn planet from full-on spiritual collapse -- unfortunately fails to discourage Fleiss, who told the Post if the Pope continues to ignore his request he's hatching a plan to "sneak the cameras into Vatican Square." It begs the question: when did Fleiss undergo his lobotomy?